#so great now i have that to deal with what the actual fuck did i do to get that ughhhhhh
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I’m almost done with it. I’ll be honest.. I only read this book because Cooper Koch loves this book and way how beautiful it is and he may be playing Jude if they actually decide to make a movie about it which I heard is possibly happening. So I’m like hmmm he keeps talking about this book and the cover caught my eye. I did a little research on it and saw a lot… ALOT of people hated it. But I just took that as people on TikTok being dramatic as always.
This book is so traumatic, tragic, painful, sad and had my emotions everywhere. I’ve never cried so much reading a book. Then I decided to see what everyone thought of it on TikTok and just doing research. I’m seeing everyone call it trauma porn and all these other things. I’ll be honest. Would I classify this book as beautiful? No. Do I understand why people describe it that way? Definitely. But it’s not beautiful to me. It’s just heartbreaking. It’s a wonderfully written book and the story and how it’s told is phenomenal. But it’s so tragic that I can’t define it as beautiful. I haven’t been able to stop thinking about it or the characters. Thinking about it makes me cry.
But I don’t hate it? I think the reason why is because there are so many people out there going through what Jude had experienced and what he was experiencing with the aftermath of those things in his adulthood. Now I’m not saying these exact scenarios are happening to people. But these things do happen. The child prostitution, the child sexual abuse, physical abuse. Rape. How people deal with it, I feel sometimes is similar to how Jude was dealing with it. Refusing to see a therapist, the cutting, thinking he’s not good enough or doesn’t deserve love because he thinks he’s disgusting or that people think he is. Not being able to open up because of the fear of people seeing you differently. His difficulties with sex and his relationships with the people around him. All of that I think is what made me emotional because all I could think about is the people out there who are or who have been through this. Then myself being a victim of sexual abuse.
I think that’s what made it hard for me to hate it. Because once I saw everyone hating it.. I’m like why? This is stuff that’s happening to people. Stuff that people are dealing with and we don’t even know it because some people are afraid to talk about it. But that doesn’t mean I don’t understand why people DO hate it. It’s fucking wild to write as a book. Like who the fuck thinks of shit like this??? I also don’t agree with the authors opinions about how someone as traumatized as Jude should kill themselves and how she doesn’t really believe in therapy. That I think is the most ridiculous thing I heard. Therapy works if you allow it to work and you allow yourself to be open and vulnerable. Suicide doesn’t need to be the answer and a lot of times therapy has saved someone’s life. So the author I don’t really like. Cause girl what… I also don’t agree with this becoming a movie. No one wants to see this on film, it’s hard enough reading about it. I love Cooper Koch and I think he’d make a great Jude especially after seeing him as Erik Menendez. But I don’t want a movie about this book. WE DONT NEED THAT.
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Caitvi having a double date with Timebomb
“The fuck, Ekko?! You painted each other?!”
It’s a surprise when Vi finally staggers back from Piltover’s polished halls. She sure as fuck isn’t supposed to. It’s not part of the plan. Of course Vi doesn’t know there’s a plan. She staggers down all the same. Instead of the broken, screaming woman sliding off the ledge she is the Vi that has appeared throughout Ekko’s life. Brash and loud and a pain in the ass. But she’s alive in this world and that fucking means something. He’s not sure what in the cosmic sense. But when she kicks open the door, he’s pretty sure right now it means she’s about to kick his ass.
“That’s a weird way to say hello,” he spits back.
“You painted my sister!” She accuses.
He’s fucking tired. Sleep is never enough, everything feels sluggish. He doesn’t know if it’s grief or if he managed to fix time and break himself in the process. Ekko’s used to building things from ruins. But it takes time. Right now it’s just frustrating as hell. He’s seen what the world can be, he’s got something to strive for. But that goal feels like when he was a kid and he’d look up at the tall buildings. He can strive for it all he fucking wants. There’s a good chance he’s never going to get it. He’s always cared about possibilities. Even if the odds are against him, there’s still a chance. Now though he knows what is out there. What’s out there and what’s missing here. That is the bitterest pill to swallow for some fucked up reason.
Also his earlobes hurt.
“You’re not here about the paint,” he says.
“Yeah I am,” Vi snaps, “what the fuck? She’s a kid!”
Ekko grinds his teeth. He does not want to talk about this. He doesn’t want to deal with Vi’s protective bullshit. Not when he’s spent all this time listening to Jinx talk about how Vi needs to be up there. Ekko half wanted a sibling most of his life, but the way the pair of them are with each other makes him glad he never had one.
“No, Vi, she’s not!” He erupts finally, “none of us are! When are you gonna see that?!”
Vi stands still. She’s pissed but Ekko knows she needs to hear it. Someone has to tell her. Tell her in a way that gets through her thick skull so they can all start to heal. He’s not an idiot, he knows how Jinx is without her sister. Both of their plans are stupid. They always have been. That’s why one winds up in jail and one winds up in hell. And then they just fucking switch places, cry about it and switch again. Ekko is tired of listening to stupid ideas.
Vi is suddenly in his face. Still with that miserable look on her eyes. She reaches out slowly and bats away his hand when he tries to stop her. She pinches the corner of his ear between her thumb and her forefinger. Gently but it’s enough to make him hiss.
“Geez Ekko, this is infected,” she says. Ekko wants to yell at her, “you do this yourself?”
“No.”
“Seriously? Your ear?” She peers around his head, “both of them? When did you two have the time?”
“I don’t know, how long does it take you to fuck your girlfriend?” He questions.
Vi glares but doesn’t drop his ear. She shoves her hands into her pockets and pulls out a little bottle. The clear gel she swipes around the fresh earrings make his ears sting but it’s also nice and cool. She huffs again and turns to do the other one.
“I was in prison and managed to keep mine not infected,” she mutters.
“Yeah? How’d you manage that?”
“Salt packs,” she says.
She hands him the bottle. Some nice Piltie thing filled with the clear gel. Ekko wants to smack her hand away but he recognizes the peace offering for what it is. It feels like he’s back in the peaceful version of the world for a moment. Where the divides between the cities aren’t that great. He realizes abruptly that in this world Vi has actually managed to bring some of that here. She crossed that divide without even thinking. Right out of prison, back when they were all too stupid to see what was going on.
Ekko knows it’s because she didn’t do it alone.
“How’s the Piltie?” He asks.
“Better,” Vi says evasively. Ekko rolls his eyes, “I didn’t come here to talk abut her!” He just keeps staring at Vi, “I don’t know!” Vi says throwing up her hands. She drags her hand through her hair. Her bad arm moves seamlessly. Another Piltover souvenir, “she’s talking about giving up her council seat. She’s barely eating. All those fucking fancy Piltie doctors do is try to get her to talk. She doesn’t like talking about her feelings.”
Ekko sighs.
This is part of being a leader.
“Sounds like she needs you,” he says cutting through Vi’s bullshit, “up there.”
“She doesn’t want to talk to me,” Vi says.
“So don’t talk,” Ekko suggests, “seriously she kicked you out and your solution was to come all the way down here? Go back there and—“ he hesitates a moment, “just sit with her until she does.”
Vi sighs, shoves her hands into her pockets and rocks back on her heels. For a moment Ekko feels like a kid caught doing something wrong. Even though he hasn’t and Vi’s already yelled at him for what she suspects. It’s not about the paint or the earrings. It’s about Jinx. Jinx let him touch her when she wouldn’t let Vi touch her. Ekko knows Vi hates that. He feels weird about it when he thinks on it too long. Not because of Vi—or not only because of Vi. It’s all their history together. But he said what happened, what he saw. And Jinx believed him way more readily than he would have believed her. It’s weird and knotted and not something he wants to think about too hard.
“Sit with her until she does,” Vi repeats.
“Yeah,” he says, “it’s fair—“
There’s a snap around his wrist.
Piltie cuffs.
The other locks around Vi’s own wrist.
“The fuck?”
“Sorry, little man,” Vi says, the nickname slipping out, “I’m not going back alone.”
“So you handcuff me?!”
“Handcuff us,” she says, dangling her wrist up, “maybe one day we can walk together normally,” Ekko reaches for his key but only hits the skin that shows above his pants, “next time maybe get a full shirt.”
“Shut up!”
Vi drags him up and away. Ekko plans his escape. He hates walking. Hates walking the Lanes most of all. It reminds him of his failures and the past. When he flies he can leave it all down here. Up there none of it can catch him. Now he drags through the muck. What catches him off guard is the newness he sees popping up. New cans of paint, fresh tarps, resources. Vi catches his stunned gaze and offers a grin as they make their way past. Ekko nearly falls flat on his face trying to get a good look. He wants to drink it all in. But Vi is determined. She drags him up past where the buildings nicer and into a private box.
“We should have taken my board,” he grumbles as it pulls them higher.
“I wasn’t letting you anywhere near that thing.”
He scoffs.
Hesitates.
He doesn’t know if he wants to know. Maybe that makes him weak. But what’s the right way to ask what version of someone is awake? It doesn’t really matter. After what he did Jinx and Powder both probably want him dead. He messed up the plan. Instead of flying her out of here like he was supposed to he was unconscious. She sailed out of that air duct with no-one to catch her. He let her down again. He could have gone with her, maybe he should have. But all he could think when he saw her being carted off by fancy doctors with Vi’s hand tight in hers was that maybe she too had a chance at getting away. He’d messed up her trust enough. Something must show in his face.
“She started talking to Isha two nights ago,” Vi says.
“Two nights?!” He demands.
“I’ve been trying to find you!” Vi snaps, holding up her wrist again.
“Why didn’t you start with that?!” He demands. She shrugs and rubs the back of her neck, “what’s she saying?”
“She’s telling her about you,” Vi says.
She drags him through the shiny halls of a building flooded with sunlight. He knew Vi wouldn’t let her be thrown into a cell. There are guards everywhere though. But they are guards who nod at Vi even through the disgust on their face. She brings him to a door and undoes the cuff. She hesitates a moment before knocking and opening it up. Ekko hesitates at the sound of whispering. What if he makes this worse again?
“Jinx? It’s Vi. I brought someone to see you,” the whispering stops.
Vi reaches for him but he bats her hand away and forces himself forward.
Jinx is crouched in the far corner. Her entire head is cased in white bandages. They match her pale skin and the white garment they’ve put her in. The room is completely devoid of color. The only color is her purple eyes. They regard him from underneath the bandages, surrounded by bruises. She blinks twice and looks to her side like she’s looking for someone. But then like she always does, her eyes flick over and focus on him. Vi inhales sharply when she gets to her feet and makes her way over.
“I thought you died,” she says simply. It’s hard to swallow, “you were supposed to be there.”
“I know, I’m sorry,” he says. Her fingers tap his hand and then snatch back. Unsure. He now knows more about the war in her head, but that doesn’t make it any easier, “I broke time.”
“How?”
“Turned it back longer than four seconds,” he says. Her lip curls, “A lot longer.”
“So you made it a bomb,” she says, “did it work?”
“We’re here aren’t we?”
She freezes and looks around. He feels behind him in Vi’s general directly and pushes. His hand hits some part of her that stands hard and unyielding and needs to get the fuck out. Before Ekko can look he feels her withdraw. Then it’s just him and Jinx in the white room. Her hand goes out and back and out in something that almost looks like she’s swinging her arm. Then it streaks out and latches onto his wrist. He turns his hand as she walks her fingers to his palm and clenches theirs together. Her lips tremble and she looks up at him.
“It fell apart again,” she says, her voice steadier even as her lips tremble, “I fucked it up.”
“Hey, it’s okay,” he says, gripping her shoulder. She tenses at the contact and but her eyes remain stubbornly focused on him, “I fucked it up too. I broke time.”
“It’s not a competition,” she huffs.
“Good, because I’d win,” he says. Her eyes narrow, “I broke time,” he reminds her.
“Seems fixed now,” she shoots back, “seems—slow,” she glances around the room, something annoyed flickering in her eyes, “I don’t like it in here.”
“Okay,” he says, “let’s get out of here.”
She shivers at the thought. Ekko hates that she’s been trapped in this room for even a moment. Though he recognizes this was the safest place for her, it feels wrong. He doesn’t know what the line is though. Safe and tolerable seem to be on opposite sides of the spectrum for her. He doesn’t even know if he can take her out of here. Maybe they’ve both been locked in the room. Still, he resolves to try. He reaches for the door and tugs. Thankfully it opens. Sunlight spills forward from the massive windows. Jinx hesitates next to him.
“I know it’s a lot,” he says, “lean on me.”
She puts more of her weight on him and something further eases in his chest. They take the few steps out of the room together. Her other hand comes up and covers her forehead as she looks at the bright blue sky. He knows she wants to fly away but for now she just leans on him. Somehow that feels like enough. He sees a seam in the window and shoves it up with one hand. Only a trickle of a breeze comes through but she closes her eyes. The peace on her face doesn’t make him think of the other Powder for once. It makes him think of the cans of fresh paint in the Lanes. The spark of life surrounded by all the darkness. It’s just a spark, just a pair of tearful eyes on a bridge, but it is there. It’s all that matters.
“Can we fly?” she asks.
“We will,” he promises, “but not on an empty stomach.”
Her eyes shoot open and look hopefully at him. He has a feeling even with all the wealth she’s been refusing to eat. Now she looks hungry. It’s something. He looks around for anyone who could bring them food. Maybe he can hid her from Vi long enough to ask. He sees the half cracked door down the hall. Jinx tightens her fingers on him and leans more heavily.
“Can you trust me this time?” He asks.
She hesitates and then nods. He reaches up and eases some of the bandage down to cover her eyes. She leans fully on him but matches his steps as they hobble over to the room. Vi is sitting there with Caitlyn. Who also has bandages over her eyes. She’s sitting perfectly straight, her visible eye staring at her hands. Vi looks anguished next to her, but she is sitting there. Waiting. Ekko keeps Jinx on the other side of the door as he cracks it. Vi’s eyes take in the fingers clenched around his and she pushes herself up.
“I need food,” he hisses.
Vi looks at Caitlyn like she doesn’t know what to do. Ekko gets the distinct impression all three of them are in their own cells. She and Caitlyn seem to be waiting for someone to open theirs. For two people who keep breaking each other out of prison, they are fucking awful at it. He doesn’t have time for them to figure out which key hits the lock in this moment. Not with Jinx laying her head on his shoulder.
“Hey, Piltie—“ he grinds his teeth. Her eye blinks like she’s struggling to hear him. Slowly her her starts to move. “Caitlyn,” he hisses. The blue eye meets his, “you want to help? I need food. For her.”
Caitlyn frowns and Vi lets out a ragged breath. Something that sounds like relief. Caitlyn looks around and reaches for something. Vi grabs the cup on the side of the bed. Caitlyn looks from her to the cup and blinks again before taking it. Their hands brush against each other and there’s a wetness in both of their eyes that Ekko would find gross under any circumstances. Caitlyn drinks and reaches out of Ekko’s view. There’s a hushed exchange and Vi appears with a tray laden with food.
“Finally,” Jinx sighs and Ekko realizes she’s pulled up the bandage. His heart catches as he waits for her to look for one of her ghosts but she just reached out and takes something off the plate, “how’d you get fruit up here?”
No-one seems to know how to answer and Jinx looks between them. There’s something like annoyance on her face at their silence.
“Kiramman’s can get anything,” he says, “how hard did you hit your head?” He teases. Jinx rolls her eyes and immediately leans more against him, “shit—“
“Bring her here,” Caitlyn says and the authority in her raspy voice has him moving before he remember what a bad idea that is, “Vi—“
“I just need to sit,” she grouses. He guides her into the chair but she tangles their feet and somehow he winds up in the chair and she winds up in his lap. She slings and arm over his shoulders and drops her head onto his chest like that’s normal and looks at the pair of them, “how come you got to keep your hair?” She asks Caitlyn.
“She didn’t crack her skull,” Vi blurts out. Jinx nuzzles closer to him. Ekko can feel the start of stubble on her skull where the bandages have rolled up, “she—“
“Lost my eye,” Caitlyn says finally. They both look at each other. The blanket moves and after a moment Vi slips her hand underneath. Just enough to keep their joined hands out of view, “my eye is gone,” Caitlyn says with a bit more firmness.
Jinx sighs and gets more comfortable against him.
“I wanted to steal a ship and fly away,” she complains. Vi’s throat works as Ekko’s heart jumps. But she’s not away. She’s here. Itching her stubble against his neck, “now you look like a pirate,” Vi covers her mouth with her hand. Caitlyn stares at her. Her mouth frowns and the eases, then almost smiles, “too many pirates,” she sighs, “I’m floating.”
Vi lurches forward and peers at her head. But she doesn’t let go of Caitlyn’s hand. Or maybe Caitlyn won’t let her. She and Ekko look at each other and she shakes her head. No sign of bleeding. Maybe she is just tired. It’s not like they have much leeway when it comes to not eating. Though Gods knew she tried to get out of it enough until he figured out how to make it a game she enjoyed. Now he feels her breathing start to even out and realizes she’s fallen asleep. He looks at Vi who seems painfully caught between being a big sister and a girlfriend—between all the roles that have been put on her. So Ekko chooses instead and gets his arm under Jinx’s knees. She doesn’t move when he straightens up.
“Is there a normal room?”
“Yeah,” Vi says.
She gives Caitlyn’s hand a squeeze and pushes up. She leads him two doors in the opposite direction. It’s a small room but there’s clean sheets and a window. He nods and walks over to the window with Jinx in his arms, cracking it open. The fresh air makes her sigh in her dreams. Vi’s gaze is hot on his neck. He knows where her mind is, where his would be too if he didn’t know. If he hadn’t spent those days living his life in three second increments. Vi didn’t. But Vi stands there silently and doesn’t close the window. After another long moment she nods at him and leaves the room.
When he goes to put her down he feels a tug at his hips.
Jinx has stuck her wrist into his belt. Ekko knows he could pull it out. He also knows what she is asking. It takes some maneuvering to get them onto the bed facing each other. But he’s contorted himself through worse. He gets them facing each other. His head high on the pillow, hers low but they fit. He doesn’t bother with the sheets as he pulls her into the confines of his jacket. She sighs and nudges forward more, rubbing her bandaged head under his chin.
“Itchy,” she mumbles.
He curves his hand up and rubs against the bandages along he skull. She sighs and buries herself even closer, working one of her legs between his. It’s new and familiar at the same time. She likes to be held like this so when she wakes up she can know he’s there without asking. Without wondering. It makes the ghosts go away. He’s never seen her sleep this deeply though.
“Thanks,” she mumbles into his collarbone. He doesn’t know what she’s thanking him for. But he has a feeling it’s more than scratching her head, “stay?”
“Yeah,” he says, tightening his coat around them both.
She hums and within moments is back asleep. Ekko wants to stay awake but the feel of her breath is hypnotic. Suddenly, it’s like he’s been awake since before he broke time. Like he doesn’t know how to be awake anymore. It’s hard to let go enough to sleep and not guard against the world. But Jinx keeps breathing steadily against his chest. Ekko feels his own breath catching her rhythm. He relaxes further into the beat between them.
It’s always, always a dance.
He never wants it to end.
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☕ ~ trans woman whirl?
I love trans Whirl headcanons but I think I love them for totally different reasons than I usually see, tbh? That is- I think a lot of the time the fandom just goes 'oh! Girl Holoform Spotted! now this character is girl, and we can say character is trans girl because in the comic they are called he/him' and tbh I find that attitude as fandom often implements it annoying for a couple reasons; one, it often feels like a kind of 'if character Looks Like Girl, well, character Is Girl' deal which tbh feels kinda shallow to me ngl, and two, it (and similar under-expanded upon headcanons) not infrequently seems to be a way for the fandom as a whole to justify the general lack of content for the very explicitly canon trans characters by instead being like 'all the material we make for these characters not treated as such in canon proves that we definitely love trans characters. don't think about how lug or anode or arcee don't get that same attention, or that this content only offhandedly actually deals with transness 90% of the time', you know? Bit mean, but I can't help but feel that's a repeated tendency in the fandom, tbh. I would feel less like this if the fanon trans headcanons did not just vaguely go 'oh. also ig they are trans, how nice' with no follow up and instead actually treated these characters as having opinions about being trans, but in too many cases they unfortunately... don't. (And no, them being robots is not an excuse. Anode has opinions on this. Arcee has opinions on this, a lot of them!) But we're here to talk about Whirl, and I want to talk about why I do love trans Whirl, so.
I love trans Whirl for reasons far outside of that, and I think taking that approach to the idea does it a disservice tbqh. Specifically I like trans Whirl for the same reason I like reading Verity as trans, because it adds to Whirl's character arc about being denied agency over identity and clawing it back on purpose in a way where the trans reading feels especially resonant and like it genuinely adds to the overall subtext of her arc. Whirl's entire character is one where the violent removal of agency in her life is so much a focus it changes the course of history; Whirl refusing to let the functionists that ruined her life win is why Elegant Chaos plays out as it does. Whirl is a character whose entire sense of self as a person with the ability to make any choices at all was viciously ripped away from her, and in turn a character whose response to that is to make her ability to choose exactly what she does so utterly undeniable that even if you hate her, even if you think she's repulsive, even if you want to throttle her, you cannot pretend she is not in control. In that specific context, adding in the idea that she would choose her own gender, in defiance of a Cybertronian culture that implicitly treats gender as an alien unwelcome influence, so she can have what she wants- that rules. There's also such a line to be drawn there between Arcee's arc and Whirl, I think, that is so great. That's where I see why it is so good. Being seen as just a gun to be aimed that everyone professes distaste for but still wants to stick around and do dirty work, but you insist upon your interiority being seen as just that; your interiority. And all the things the people who want to do to you which you hate being what you embrace. It's fantastic. I simply prefer that as an angle through which to view the ideas than like... haha well Whirl's holoform is Girl With Guns how funny. You know?
And one of her most "humanising" moments is when she extends that to someone else. I'm thinking of when she tells Tailgate that Cyclonus was lying about his injuries; that part where Cyclonus is trying to protect Tailgate in a way that is ultimately toxic for them both. Sure, everyone else agrees that the best way to handle this is to lie for your own good so you don't make a decision people don't want you to. But that's not fucking fair, and who gets to decide what's "your own good"? Viewing that in light of a Whirl who is not just vaguely a woman but specifically linking that to the way Whirl's rigidly defined role under a functionist heel ruined her sense of identity, because they know what's best for you whether you like it or not- damn, that is COMPELLING. And I find that just. So much more compelling than what fandom so often does with the idea. Whirl, above all else, knows how important demanding agency is. I think that makes Whirl a character ripe for a reading as trans, and I love that for her so much. she'll grab you by the throat and make you acknowledge her. and she's right every step of the way, no matter how much you want to look away. i love her.
tl;dr WHIRL TRANS WOMAN GOOD. LOVE IT. no really i just, it's so good.
#ask meme#WOW THIS IS ONE I HAVE A LOT OF OPINIONS ON TURNS OUT#tldr. i love. trans whirl. because i love whirl so so so much#(also yeah i use canon pronouns usually but. we are talking about whirl as trans here so we're on that delicious she/her whirl content)
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Mastermind live thoughts [Spoilers below cut]
The animation is amazing like oh my god! 💕
Ah, gonna be the Stolas trial I see
Andre stop flirting with your sister
✨Unpaid interns✨
Fuck.. double trial I see
RUN
Be fucking faster
Why do they sound like the cherubs
What is this….?
“Face the music” is honestly a bit too funny
Trailer scene time!
FUCK
Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck
Blitz you don’t deserve to be deadnamed :/
???
Andre what did I just say, stop flirting with her, at some point comphet is cursed
Oh thank Satan (?) that Blitz actually defended himself against the possibility he forced himself onto Stolas
Candle head in Wrath?
Vassago bilingual? And he here!
Don’t you wanna take Stolas down first??
Yep.. they are claiming Blitz S/A’d Stolas in the trial. Fuck. At least hopefully the Blitz antis will realise they’re wrong in the episode
Bestie (/s) I think you got Blitz and your sister’s names confused. Put Stella on trial coward
Grimour, Stricker
You tell them Blitz!
Poor Mox :(
Go off Bea!! /pos
Yep you too Ozz! Tell ‘em
Mammon aren’t you Ace?? Don’t you want not to be fucked??
Satan looks a lot more like a Candlehead than I would’ve thought
How is this not the finale?? AAAA
Well shit….
Yay! Classism!
Poor Fizz, seeing your best friend (?) almost get executed live on TV! TF
Blitz sacrifices himself (tries to) <//3
(My hc) “Bitches (Blitz) say “I wanna die” like a broken record, but when you almost get executed on live tv, you shit yourself
Stolas save your future boyfriend now!!!
Go off Blitz! Tell ‘em off on their classism
As much as I understand not liking racial coding, .. Blitz and imps in general especially in this episode are very POC coded, with a lot of he’ll just being racist
</3
No Blitz don’t accept your fate 😭😭😭😭😭😭
Stolas ex machena please please please please
😭😭😭😭😭😭
Why Blitz must you care so fucking much about your family and if I could cry I’m pretty sure I would be by now
The screencap I paused on is so pretty.. To bad it’s Blitz getting executed (And almost made me wanna cry) or I’d make it my banner
Aaaaa
Fuck yes Stolas!!
Blitz is saved !! ✨⭐️💕
Boyfriends protecting eachother 💕
Yay! Songs! <3
XD “half a brain”
“Some kind of Mastermind-“ roll credits
Stolas I know you’re dealing with rascists but please don’t act like that with Blitz rn ur doing a regression and I hope it’s an act
Nevermind lol kinda
Yep. This is a clear racial allegory. No hiding it now
Fancy ahh reveal Stolas
Also we just shifted the “I’ll sacrifice for my loved ones” horse to Stolas instead of Blitz
Stolas ur an idiot too
Fuck yes! Romantic ish Stolitz duet part!
No Blitz you fucking deserve to live <333
And I’m back too “if only tears could fall” again.. Please Blitz take his sacrifice and save him after that till the system breaks and you two will be free
Either death or.. whatever happened last two episodes
Shit
Where is Lucifer? Just because Luci’s in his depression era doesn’t mean you are the ruler of hell Satan
Oh nevermind
The sins have existed before Luci fell. Interesting
Blitz is so defensive over Stolas and his life ahh 💕😭
Step 1: *Panic* , Step 2: “Wow this is a sturdy door”
Blitz is being silly but not swearing so he must be concealing his emotions again
<33 Group hug <33
Are we starting some weird chain now (Octavia was now alerted and running for Stolas)
Or not..
Poor Via </3
Loophole! Also more racism allegory!
Banishing him is actually a decent idea (for once)
Ohhh Andrealphus just wants power. Honestly I should have figured sooner lol
If this is Mastermind then what the actual fuck will Sinmas be (unless it’s another Queen Bee situation)
100 years.. So have a relationship with Blitz and once that’s done go back to royalty! Sounds great!
..wait are we getting imp Stolas
Nevermind lol. Just hatless
He will enjoy very much
Ooh!~ Our theories were right! (Stolas must also learn classism the hard way for a bit)
So the white pupils are permanent now
<3
OMG Blitz hero! Yay!!! <3
<3333
Blitz is at an all time high and Stolas is at an all time low.. interesting
<33333
So.. are they immediately dating now?
THIS WAS ALL SO AMAZING!! Favourite episode now!
#helluva boss#mastermind#helluva boss mastermind#helluva boss spoilers#mastermind spoilers#v goes crazy textpost style#hb spoilers
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the idea this game posits that just as much as or even more so than lucanis is having a demon problem, spite is currently having a lucanis problem. is everything to me. spite voice bitch you live like this???
#'rook. talk to him >:('#<- both people in this ongoing one person family therapy session. thank god my rook is a watcher I think they might get it#dragon age#dragon age: the veilguard#dragon age: the veilguard spoilers#dragon age spoilers#lucanis dellamorte#spite#it's a good metaphor for trauma AND it's excellent da spirit lore building on a lot of things already established#and also. frequently hysterically funny. mary kirby has such a knack for Thematic Depth sneaking through#she did it with varric and storytelling and here she is again 'what like it's hard' style. god fuck EA so much#having to admit that the thing happened and was not in his control and that he's different now and can't go back is harder to deal with#than the actual ways he's different now when engaged with honestly. I mean. yeah. yeah. trauma breaks and rearranges a self#and no one goes 'great love this I'd like some more' right after that#add all the cultural fear and shame around demon possession in andrastian thedas and I would not be doing well either haha#but also. poor spite in the middle of all that being like physical reality is already so weird but I really don't want this to be happening
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[note: i know for a fact i'm doing this for the same reason that i fixate on nebulous fandom anxieties at other times: helplessness regarding anxieties about larger geopolitical issues]
feeling in a very weird position right now thinking about the fact theres a nonzero chance that either one of the cosplayers ive become acquainted with or someone in their immediate circle could do brownface in the future and people are gonna come at me like 'hey why are you not calling them out and/or giving them a racial sensitivity seminar and/or personally fistfighting them on the floor of the doujin circle event'
#i strongly feel westerners darkening their skin for cosplay are generally doing it in an 'i know this is offensive and dont care' edgy way#but people over here largely Dont Fucking Know because the cultural context behind why it's bad is not there#and i don't...personally feel like it's my job either to educate near-strangers on this or to make a big deal out of how i condemn it#(someone i just met and already became fond of said she wants to dress as a brown character and im already getting nervous#in case she does end up painting her skin and the pics are shared around or come to the attention of the western ppl i know in fandom#imagining people that i know pointing at me and going Hey Ebil You Are Brown. So You Hate Her Now Right? Slash Why Didnt You Stop Her)#cool. great. i wish instead of brown i were Invisible Color#id actually love if eventually people over here did learn more about that through me?#not even in an I Have To Correct Them way. just a cultural exchange way. the way im glad to learn what offends japanese ppl#they might find it interesting and worth knowing! but my ass trying to lecture people right now would absolutely just be...bad. bad.#'oh i just met this american and they seemed cool but then they started going on about how i was offending american values so. gaijins eh'#it's obvious to me nothing constructive would be achieved. i just hope people understand that.#i dunno. i dunno. i dunnoooooo.
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...
#im just so angry#all i keep thinking is what the fuck#i know im lucky i live in a blue state#but also it just makes me angry that now i have to deal with the nonsense other people chose#and why did so many people pick him??#like where all his crimes and cruelties not enough???#i just dont get it#like a little part of me hopes something miraculous will happen and ill wake up tomorrow to find out she actually won#but idk man its just not looking great#i dont know how were gonna make it thorough this#hes already done things that will have lasting effects#its gonna be so much worse for four more years
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SOOOOOO hard to go through everyday life trying to ignore the never-ending feeling that im just irreparably fucked up and therefore should just give up on everything
#this aint exactly s******* but it aint exactly not s******* either#anyways it gets even harder when i have to live under the same roof as my brother who is so much better than me in every single conceivable#and imaginable way possible like#and i knowwww a LOT of it comes down to us having relatively similar yet wildly different lives despite being 1.5y apart and having the sam#family our entire lives like he has gone through NOTHING and i mean not a single societal issue ive had to face and endure my entire life#he's a man im a woman. he's white im black. he's straight im gay. he's skinny ive always been 'overweight'. he's always been the good#christian kid ive always had issues w faith and religion. he's never been mentally ill i was clinically depressed for nearly 8yrs of my lif#we both lost the same parent and im the only one who got pathological grief and a personality disorder out of it. he's had a great job for#the last 7yrs that now pays him 20k+ every month ive only had 3 odd jobs my entire life and 2 of those my MOTHER had to give me so i would#have SOMETHING and ive never made over 1.6k monthly n my last job was minimum wage only#he's had like 4 relationships and is nearly engaged im so traumatized + emotionally unavailable ive only ever been on 1 date my entire life#he has a good relationship w every family member we have i have Issues w like half the family. he's always been an active member of our#church i can barely listen to like 4 traditional hymns before i start losing my mind and spiraling. i think the only two ways we're pretty#much equal like socially is that we're both able bodied cis and christians but still the cis and christian thing is debatable for previousl#stated reasons so like. do yall see how much better he is doing than me in every little last area in life and how he's always gotten the#long straw when it comes to Not having to deal w certain obstacles in life. n i know its like yea idk what it actually is like to be him an#he could not be doing all that well first of all shut up. second of all if it was 1 or 2 things i'd get it but it's literally EVERYTHING#and i know bc of said things n our v different lives it's unfair to me to compare the two of us but then it begs the question: WHY#WHY did i have to go through these things. WHY do i have to deal w this. WHY did i get the short straw literally every goddamn time#WHY did i have to get THIS life like WHYYYYY why ME GOD. why have I had to put up w all this bullshit for 24 fucking years!!!!!!!!! im TIRE#and this is not me hating or resenting him i know it's not his fault and he is so good to me#but still. why was i left with these things? to live like this?#so yes i guess i do envy him a little bit. who wouldn't#mari.txt#personal#tw negative#dl#btw i do NOT mean some identities are better than others. i mean he is better and is doing better than me in life partially bc he's never#had to deal w certain social issues and obstacles that come w oppressed identities.
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every now and again i wonder why izuru assigned me hajime kin so damn hard it came true like how did this motherfucker know everything like that. and then i remember the section of my pinned post asking that people please not use the word "talent" if they want to compliment me bc i have a rough history with the idea of inherent talent. and how that is a genuine fact about me and something that has deeply influenced who i am as a person. and that that has been in my pinned post for longer than i've been a danganronpa fan. and i understand
#marzi speaks#having self-worth issues in middle school is actually just the beginning stages of kinning hajime hinata#it's ok tho i'm at the point where i've accepted this about myself. i lean into it now#like last semester. when we had to make performance art projects about a facet of our identities#and i chose. my own lack of a self-perception. because i straight up do not know who i am#i even used the fucking beach as a metaphor. i went to the goddamn beach at night. the whole vibe was dissociative and stressed#it was a GREAT final piece too i'm still super proud of it. but like goddamn i really. i really did that huh#head in hands. it was authentic#i STILL don't know what my deal is. i dunno what it is ppl remember me for#but shit my friends love me. n that's enough i think. for now#being friends with systems is so fun bc sometimes an alter you barely know knows you better than you know yourself#i still haven't spoken to izuru since then afaik. mfer came to my inbox called me out and fucked off. kind of iconic#but it still keeps me up some nights. how.... how much did you know#I DIDN'T EVEN HAVE MY CRUSH ON KOMAEDA YET. HOW DID YOU KNOW
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The people that have abandoned me really need to stop talking to me like they have any right to tell me what to do, or I swear to God, I'm gonna get the FUCKING hammer.
#inspired by my bitch of a mother sending me a text that basically said u need to get ur life together#as i always say! LET HE WHO IS WITHOUT SIN CAST THE FIRST STONE!#this woman's life is a dumpster fire#and she specifically said 'i won't financially support u. i'll always be there for u but that's a conditional statement'#which is INSANE because that don't make no sense AND she has NEVER financially supported me? genuinely why does she think she has any#fucking right...😭😭😭#meanwhile. my dad. during the shitstorm that has been my family's existence lately. is being way more lax about me getting a job and moving#out than he has been in the past. because some fucks despite being shitheads aren't total assholes#this post is also inspired by my insufferable sister who fucked off to another fucking continent when i was 7 and treats me...well. exactly#how u would expect an upper middle class dumb jock to treat her awesome nerd little brother. and is always telling me i'm making#the wrong fucking decisions and judging me.#these ppl r so funny bc they think this is normal and that i will endure it bc the power of love or what the fuck ever. wrong! i have been#on the brink of cutting off my entire family since i was fourteen. now that i actually have the power to do some cutting off i'll be honest#i feel pretty great#it is all of course a horrible nightmare and i wish things were different etc etc etc. but in the words of supernatural. i was always going#to end up here.#while i am thinking about such things what's my other sister's deal? she has not reached out to me for years. it was like i turned 18 and#she was like ok who cares abt this dude now#which was incredibly bizarre and makes me feel like a stupid idiot who did something wrong but i know i didn't. and she was always the most#supportive of my siblings. i don't know what her problem is#in her defense her life has been weird lately. but 'lately' has lasted long enough that it's just her life now. and whenever i try to be th#one to reach out she basically gives me...nothing.#while i am thinking about such things i will acknowledge the slays. my one totally kickass sister who is the only other one of my siblings#who understands anything. i am rly grateful for her and she has been so good to me for so long especially during the recent shitstorm#she is moving very far away and that has brought up my abandonment issues but i genuinely am so happy for her and her family and she is ver#adamant about me visiting and PAYING for the visit (or at least doing the scamming that pays for the visit so i don't have to pay lol) and#making sure i'll be ok.#it's not all bad! i am going to be ok! there r so many people in my life who love me and love me in a way that makes sense to me and doesn'#make me feel like the world's worst man#personal log
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does anyone know when life is supposed to calm down. does anyone know when it all ends
#im so exhausted.#ive got a fucking annoying headache and i had a nightmare earlier and im just having a bad day#and now im literally dealing with bpd^2 rn like.#my ex is having a really hard time because her moms health is declining and shes being put in a really hard position#and shes horribly stressed out but she feels guilty about feeling like her life is falling apart bc her mom obviously has it worse#and i know what thats like and i know its just going to be hell for her now and i cant fix that#and i just like. god if i could take all of her pain i would#she doesnt deserve the horrible fucking set of cards she was dealt#my nightmare was actually originally that i went to the hospital with her to see her mother#it did not end remotely related to that but it just. yeah not great#also struggling bc i dont know how to handle people i like (separately than her) being in relationships or liking other people#it is so. so fucking. i dont even know its like physically painful and when i see them talk about it it like ruins my whole day and#its so hard to handle these mood swings and like. Have A Life#its why i got off tumblr like i just cant. i cant have all these feelings and still be okay most of the time#it feels like im trying to stay afloat but every day the ball and chain on my ankle gets exponentially heavier#idk. i just like. cant regulate my emotions. whatsoever. clearly#jace.txt
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#twisting that knife with the biggest most innocent eyes (via @autumnslantern)
AS WELL HE SHOULD because, Lan Xichen!!!!! How long have you known that was da-ge's body, Lan Xichen?!?! How long have you known and yet Huaisang has had no word from you, no letter, no messenger pigeon or smoke signal to tell him da-ge's body had been fucking dismembered, Lan Xichen????? Why is Huaisang hearing about this at the same moment as everyone else, including the murder suspect, Lan Xichen?????
Ugh. I love Lan Xichen as a blorbo but (lbr, because) he is the most morally frustrating character in the whole story.
THE UNTAMED Episode 42/50
#liu haikuan does a great job of portraying 'jesus christ i did Not want to deal with you about this huaisang' with his eyes#but like. you should have told him!!!!!#even though he fully already knew and is lying to your face rn#you didn't know that! and so you should have been in qinghe WEEKS AGO with a sad message and what remains of mingjue's corpse#but he didn't want to deal with huaisang's hysterics#but huaisang made himself hard to deal with in the first place because er-ge was and remains fundamentally untrustworthy!!!!!!!!#hhhhhhhhhh. there is a Reason i love seeing xichen destroyed a shell of himself at the end#(and also--to be clear in case anyone has not picked up on this yet--i want huaisang and xichen to kiss/fuck nasty about it)#hhhhhhhhhhh cql made a Lot Of Choice that i would not have made#but the way they made it So Clear that er-ge and san-ge have just sort of.......forgotten......that huaisang is nie mingjue's actual didi#and like. cares and would care about what happened to him and WHERE HIS BODY IS NOW is just. chefs kiss.#anyway. i'm fine i'm normal.#mdzs#the untamed
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I go back to college in a day I'm fucjing sick thinking about it
#like yes. i did specifically sign up for classes#but that was like. before. and i didnt have to go to school.#and now school is coming up and im like wait. now i actually have to go? like. do what i said i was going to do and what i signed up for?#thats so bullshit#ugh and i dont know anyone which is great but also terrible because well. then ill be alone and have to make friends.#and i am AWFUL at making friends like. absolutely shit-tier lol.#im too weird for normal people and too normal for weird people.#and i dont put on my best when im dealing with new people i just dont know how to function or make friends its bad#ive always been like. adopted by an extrovert and absorbed into their friend group lol.#fuck im so nervous#like its really not that bad because its just college but at the same time like fuck.#i need to make new friends and get my education and figure out what the fuck im doing here yknow?#who do i want to be?#what do i want to do?#but arrrggghgh its so stressful and scary to think about lol#anyway#if youve read this far through my tags i love you. and also you can just ignore this one.#just a vent. nothing more.#vent post#im like if a girl goes to college
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Aight now let the God Games begin.
Apollo: Uh I... Like killing that many Sirens was slight overkill don't you think?
Athena: Tbf the sirens are massive bitches...
Apollo: Fair, that was good vocal work sis, let him go.
Hephaestus: Trust is not given it's FORGED (winks) you see what I did there? Anyways he sacrificed his entire crew that wasn't his best moment.
Athena: Yes, but if you let him go, he can still BUILD a future with his fam.
Hephaestus (laughing): Good one, let him go.
Aphrodite: Odysseus should have been home sooner then his Mom wouldn't have died.
Athena:
Athena: Wtf seriously?
(Quick Thought)
Athena: Come on, Aphrodite.
Ares: DON'T MESS WITH MY GIRL ALSO YOUR ODYSSEUS IS A SLY BITCH JUST LIKE YOU AND HIS SON'S A LOSER.
Athena: (rage activate) DON'T YOU DARE SPEAK OF MY BOY LIKE THAT!
Ares: gods okay chill
Aphrodite: awww so cute you do have a heart
Athena: Besides Ares we can watch ody kill all those assholes in his palace and I'll get popcorn.
Ares: GREAT FUCKING DEAL!
Hera: Look I've been pretty pissed at Zeus lately just gimme one good reason.
Athena: So he's smart.
Hera:
Athena: He's... Uh... Did I mention he's smart?
Hera:
Athena: He's kinda funny.
Hera: seriously?
Athena: Okay goddamnit he's not a serial cheater like Dad alright?
(Collective gasps, Hermes is lying on the floor laughing silently)
Apollo: Oh wow.
Artemis: She actually just said that.
Athena: (internally) shit fuck just act like you didn't just say that.
Hera: Husband goals, let him go.
Athena: (internally) act natural... (To Zeus) So I won, let him go.
Zeus: You little shit-
(lightning)
#epic the musical#epic the wisdom saga#jorge rivera herrans#incorrect quotes#epic athena#god games#greek gods
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But I Love Him | Oscar Piastri x Reader
Summary: Oscar Piastri’s girlfriend is Danny Ric’s biggest fan. When Oscar announces he’s signing for McLaren, she’s not sure how to react.
Warnings: Fluff. Crack fic
Only a small one. Inspired by Nicole Piastri’s hilarious podcast appearance. Did I push back my scheduled posts in favour of this sudden smau? Yes
20233-2023 season
F1 Masterlist
━━━━ ༻𖥸༺ ━━━━
2021
mclaren just posted
liked by yn_ln, landonorris and others
mclaren what a race 🏆 an amazing drive from our honey badger
10,333 comments
landonorris great race, mate
yn_ln that’s my driver!
→ oscarpiastri love you too
→ yn_ln shush, daniel might see this and then think we’re dating
→ oscarpiastri we are dating
→ yn_ln you’re ruining my chances
markwebber skills
→ yn_ln lovely, wonderful, talented mark. fancy spoiling a girl and getting her danny ric merch?
→ oscarpiastri you don’t talk like that to me
→ yn_ln because i have to deal with you leaving your wet towels on the bed
→ yn_ln plus all your merch is alpine
→ user1 she's so real for that tho
━━━━ ༻𖥸༺ ━━━━
2022
yn_ln welp, there go my chances of meeting danny ric if you’re not going to be an f1 driver
→ danielricciardo i’m sure we’ll both be in aus at the same time in the future ;)
→ yn_ln omg he talked to me. oscar, he talked to me!
→ oscarpiastri yup, i can see that
→ yn_ln why don’t you care?!
logansargeant that’s one way to break the news
→ yn_ln he’s so dramatic isn’t he
→ user2 why is oscar still with her? she’s so mean to him
→ user3 it's called banter. try it some time, babe
aussiegrit never a dull day with you
→ yn_ln at least you get to hear about this beforehand. the alpine announcement shook me
→ oscarpiastri um, it shook me too?
→ yn_ln do you need me to stroke your hair again?
→ aussiegrit @/yn_ln you're no better
nicolepiastri your girlfriend is distraught that you didn’t consult her before being a drama queen. i raised you better than this
→ yn_ln 🤍🤍
→ oscarpiastri beaten for #1 child by my own girlfriend
oscarpiastri just posted
liked by yn_ln, logansargeant and others
oscarpiastri it’s official
6,981 comments
yn_ln but i love daniel…
→ oscarpiastri i know. everyone does
→ yn_ln but i love him the most
→ oscarpiastri i know
→ user4 bit weird that you’re not congratulating him
fernandoalo_official amazing news. can’t wait to see you on track
user5 mclaren are so messy for using an alpine pic
user6 okay but hello mr piastri. i was not familiar with your game
→ user7 yn saw the vision when she fell for him years ago
→ yn_ln c’mon guys, he was cute before
→ oscarpiastri i’m still cute now!
→ yn_ln no, now you’re hot
→ oscarpiastri oh 🤭
→ landonorris fuck me, is this what i have to deal with now?
→ logansargeant yes
→ arthur_leclerc yes
→ frederikvestiofficial yes
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2023
yn_ln just posted
liked by oscarpiastri, frederikvestiofficial and others
yn_ln hubby’s first f1 race weekend (but more importantly, i met THE daniel ricciardo. and he was wearing his best colours)
3,813 comments
oscarpiastri i thought this was going to be a really sweet post and then
→ landonorris i actually watched his smile fall
→ yn_ln he’s in love with you now. it’s your responsibility to brush his hair and promise him he’s special
→ oscarpiastri between you and my mother, i don’t think i’ll ever have a comfortable day on the internet
danielricciardo i took really nice photos with you, and you post this one?
→ yn_ln please don’t be mad at me. i cry easily
oscarpiastri it’s bad enough that the world knows daniel is your favourite driver. can you at least pretend mclaren is your favourite team?
→ yn_ln go papaya!
→ yn_ln love you, pookie
→ oscarpiastri love you too, sweetheart
→ user8 the fact that no matter how hard she bullies him, he can never NOT say i love you back
aussiegrit proud of our boy
→ yn_ln me too!
→ oscarpiastri say it to my face, you coward
→ user9 how is oscar so sweet and introverted in interviews but then we see him like this on his girlfriend’s insta
→ oscarpiastri she brings out the demon in me
danielricciardo just posted
liked by landonorris, maxverstappen1 and others
danielricciardo stole my seat so i stole your girl tagged: oscarpiastri, yn_ln
4,303 comments
arthur_leclerc i bet he’s crying in his driver’s room
logansargeant i joked about stealing her once and he hit me with a wrench
frederikvestiofficial i made her laugh once and he bit me
landonorris @/mclaren are you seeing this? i think i want a new teammate
user10 pr are screaming
→ user11 they do anytime yn comments on things
oscarpiastri keep her
→ yn_ln oi!
→ yn_ln i mean… he did give you permission
→ logansargeant where was this treatment for us?
→ oscarpiastri i’m fed up of her now. i still had hope back then
maxverstappen1 i thought we were forever
→ yn_ln you can’t beat my devotion to him
→ maxverstappen1 no but i can beat your devotion to your boyfriend
→ yn_ln eh
oscarpiastri just posted
liked by arthur_leclerc, aussiegrit and others
oscarpiastri she loves me really
4,811 comments
yn_ln my whole 💕
→ oscarpiastri i love you lots
→ yn_ln you know you’re my favourite guy forever
landonorris can confirm that they are disgustingly in love around the paddock
→ yn_ln you’re just jealous because you keep trying to steal him
danielricciardo i was stood next to them once and she didn’t even glance at me because oscar was making her laugh
→ nicolepiastri he’s not even funny
→ yn_ln don’t say these things. you’ll ruin my reputation as danny ric stan #1
user12 he’s not beating the orange cat allegations
→ user13 not with all the comments over the years of her stroking his hair to make him feel better
logansargeant bro relax. no one’s going to take her from you
→ oscarpiastri daniel’s rejoined red bull. her favourite driver is back with her favourite team. i have to stake my claim
→ yn_ln when he gets possessive 😍
→ arthur_leclerc 🤮🤮
frederikvestiofficial i thought not being in f1 meant i could escape this. get it off my fyp
#formula 1#f1#formula 1 smau#f1 smau#formula 1 social media au#f1 social media au#social media au imagine#formula 1 imagine#formula 1 headcanon#formula 1 drabble#formula 1 one shot#formula 1 fluff#formula 1 x reader#f1 imagine#f1 headcanon#f1 drabble#f1 one shot#f1 fluff#f1 x reader#oscar piastri#oscar piastri imagine#oscar piastri headcanon#oscar piastri drabble#oscar piastri one shot#oscar piastri fluff#oscar piastri smau#oscar piastri x reader
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𝐂𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐬: Toji x fem/afab! reader - explicit content; minors DNI - oral (m! receiving) - ball-massaging - face + throat-fucking - praise - pet names (baby, cutie, mama, sweet thing) - implied that reader has given oral prior - first-time Toji finding enjoyment in receiving oral - heavy depictions of a blowjob - mention of spit.
𝐀𝐮𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐫'𝐬 𝐍𝐨𝐭𝐞: "Toji has never really enjoyed oral. At least, not until Y/n went down on them for the first time…"
I was playing with NSFW prompts for the first time, and this was literally the first one it gave me…genius. (¬‿¬) guess kinda a switch-up from this oldie i did~ hope you all had a wonderful Christmas and New Year's, accept this as my welcome back present, hehe~ also tysm for 4.6k, hello????
𝐖𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐂𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭: 1.6k
“…Hey, Toji?”
“Yeah, baby?”
“…Can I…..give you a blowjob?”
Up until this point, Toji was never one to be given oral from anyone.
Giving oral isn’t a problem. But receiving it from someone else? That’s another thing. Call it his personal preference or years of sexual experience, but the older man never actually found pleasure in it. It could be from the many inexperienced minxs he’s had to get his dick wet, whose frequent teeth and bites sabotaged the mood for him. Or probably from the others who just really didn’t appear to know what they were doing — again, ruining the mood. Or the fact that most of the time, as mentioned, he finds himself satisfying his partner at the time more than himself.
Not that he minds at all; no, no. He finds great satisfaction in going in between someone’s legs and getting them turned on from his work. But when it comes to the thought of having his dick sucked, it’s a hard pass. Respectfully.
Which brings us to the present: him on the couch with an arm wrapped behind your shoulders, bringing you close to him as you watch television comfortably. The ceiling lights dimmed to a warm low glow, your head draped on his shoulder as his hand rubs comforting circles on yours, and the silence only filled with the voices coming from the TV isn’t awkward in the presence of you two. Why would it be? He’s with you, his little sweet thing. And that’s all he wants right now.
So, after all the fidgeting with your thumbs and the occasion glances at him (which he noticed, of course), it was apparent that you’d soon ask him something out of the blue. What he hadn’t expected, though, was that question.
“Pfft, that’s random,” he scoffs at the sudden question, and more subtle chuckles resort from the bashful turn of your head. God, you were so cute. “Why ask, sweet thing?”
“I was…just wondering, you know?” Your eyes travel down to your twiddling thumbs, avoiding Toji’s deep, observant emerald gaze. “We’ve been together for this long, and not once have I ever given you a blowjob. And I know, you always say you’re fine with it, but like…I really wanna give you one.”
And that’s when you muster up some confidence to peer up at him meekly, and that’s what seals the deal for Toji. Who is he to deny such puppy dog eyes from his baby?
“Okay then,” he chortles with a smirk, the scar on his right side rooted up. It’s just a blowjob. If not for me, then for them. “Do what you do, cutie.” Little did he know that this would blow his expectations far out.
It started out nice and slow. Toji indulged in your kisses as you snuck your hand into the hem of his drawstring pants, sucking on his tongue while fingers crept inside his boxer briefs to give his cock a rub. He groans into your mouth, liking how you’re setting the mood until you take your lips away from his and slide off the couch to be between his legs. Removing his underwear to the floor, you examine his half-soft dick before using your hands to wrap around the base, massaging around it while you take the tip in your mouth. Toji sighs in bliss at the feeling of your soft licks and rolls of your tongue, shifting around to get more comfortable on the couch.
His erection becomes less and less flaccid, hardening around your mouth. This is where you decide to take in more of his length, hallowing your cheeks as you push your puffy lips down halfway down his erection. By the time you reach this base, your throat is so full of Toji’s girth that you use his sweatpants as reins for your hands as you try to give yourself a few seconds to adjust to the limb occupying your throat. You continue to suck on his cock, bobbing up and down with your saliva coating him, your tongue moving around on the underside of his dick every time you suck up to the tippy top.
The sucks and strokes to his length become a little faster, and it’s here that Toji can’t concentrate on the television. Subtle twitches of his leg result from the hummed moan you express while taking him to the hilt. The vibrations that resonate along the inner walls of your throat are felt. It feels so good. And the tongue of yours? Fuck. His brows trench down when your tongue licks from the bottom of his ridge to the frenulum, giving his cockhead an onslaught of rough licks and kisses that has Toji exhale through his nose. “Hmmnn, fuck…Y/n, baby, y’re so good at this…Uhghh!”
You release his tip with a soft ‘plop’ with a string of saliva connecting your lips to his spit-covered cock. “Ahahhn, really?” Oh, fucking shit, don’t look at him like that. Your hooded eyes peering up at him with a soft smile while your hands maintain a stroking rhythm that has Toji squirm around your grasp. And then you surprise him with a grasp of his ballsack, oh you’re a devilish cutie. “That makes me happy to know,” you give him a giggle when Toji involuntarily bucks to your hands; the veiny limb contrasting with your pretty fingers is such a sight to see. The pulsating commotion between your legs progresses more by the second.
More dangerous licks paired with the massage to his balls as Toji huff is bliss. “Ahhh, sh–shit…Ya like how my dick tastes, mama?”
Taking his cock back into your mouth with alluringly half-lidded eyes is the answer you give him, your lips covering your teeth as your jaw relaxes to welcome his neither limb back inside your warm oral cavity. The suction of your hallow cheeks became lethal with the increased speed, your tongue now swirling around him and creating such deviant noises that only Toji focuses on despite the television vices failing to drown them out.
Holy shit, Toji wasn’t expecting this kind of treatment at all. This was downright out of the water from all the other oral ordeals he’s had in his life. How the fuck were you so good at this!? Cupping his balls while slurping his dick was such a dangerous combo; Toji doesn’t know how long he’ll contain the urge to stand and fuck your face here and now. Goddamn, the faster you bob your lips on him, the shiver down his spine is hard to ignore. His hips jerking to your mouth; he wants to fuck your face so bad. And just looking at your ass sway while you suck on him, he knows you’re enjoying this as well.
It reaches a point where he can’t take it anymore — he wants to go faster and harder. So Toji grabs your head as he stands up and dials the tempo to a harsher motion, propelling your lips down to his pelvis. And you’re quick not to panic, being sure to breathe when Toji smacks his testicles to your chin and ruts into your face and throat with no mercy. Toji moans at the sensation of your gummy walls wrapping around his length, hissing at your muffled wails as he hits the back of your throat. “Fsshhh—Hnngh!! Fuckin’ shit, just like that, mama, just like that…Ohhggh!”
You can feel the veins on his girth pulsate, indicating that his release is soon coming. The thrusts to your face get erratically faster, so you’re sure to grab onto his sweatpants to make sure you don’t lose balance as he spills his load down your throat. Ending it with a few rough hits to your lips, Toji groans with gritted teeth, shaky, strong legs pumping his semen for you to drink, which you merrily take with muzzled squeals on his shaft. The both of you experience the last moment of this euphoric high until Toji’s body calms down, heavy breaths going slower with every expel. He gives you a few moments to suck him off a little more before removing himself from you, gradually pulling his length, quivering with the aftershocks at the dismissal of your warm walls around him. And he jolts when you tease him with one last lick to the sensitive tip.
“Hahhh, damn, cutie,” Toji takes a seat back on the couch, eyeing you down with a weary smirk and furrowed brows. “Since when did ya like to get down and dirty?”
You sheepishly smile back and avert your eyes down, wiping your mouth with the back of your hand. “I’m glad you liked it, Toji.”
“Sure as hell did,” he bends down to grab your chin and bring you in for a kiss. The squeaks you let out when he bites your lips are too adorable and hot to his ears. “Want me to eat you out, sweet thing?”
“Really?” God, you were too cute — beaming at him like that with such a lovely smile.
“Sure thing. Besides, I saw the way you were movin' that ass while suckin’ me off. So, I got you,” Toji takes off his sweatpants, moving his legs to be on the couch entirely. His dick is still standing erect, and he gives you a suggestive grin before tapping his chest, a sign for you to get ready and sit on him. “Only if ya can do that shit on me again.” The request takes you aback for a minute, but you chuckle and stand up. You remove your bottoms and underwear, and Toji notices the wet spot on the material.
Again, Toji is never one to be given oral. But if he’s going to be treated like this, you might be able to change his mind.
© 𝐇𝐨𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐠𝐫𝐚𝐲2023 – dividers from @/animatedglittergraphics-n-more.
#𝑯𝒐𝒔𝒉𝒊 ˚₊‧꒰ა ☆ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚ 𝑾𝒓𝒊𝒕𝒆𝒔: 𝑭𝒊𝒄𝒔#jujutsu kaisen x reader#jjk x reader#jujutsu kaisen smut#jjk smut#jjk x y/n#jjk x you#toji x reader#toji smut#toji fushiguro x reader#toji fushiguro smut#toji x you#toji x y/n#fushiguro toji smut#fushiguro toji x reader#toji fanfic#jujutsu kaisen x you#jujutsu kaisen fic#jjk imagines#jjk fic
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