#so great now i have that to deal with what the actual fuck did i do to get that ughhhhhh
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the idea this game posits that just as much as or even more so than lucanis is having a demon problem, spite is currently having a lucanis problem. is everything to me. spite voice bitch you live like this???
#'rook. talk to him >:('#<- both people in this ongoing one person family therapy session. thank god my rook is a watcher I think they might get it#dragon age#dragon age: the veilguard#dragon age: the veilguard spoilers#dragon age spoilers#lucanis dellamorte#spite#it's a good metaphor for trauma AND it's excellent da spirit lore building on a lot of things already established#and also. frequently hysterically funny. mary kirby has such a knack for Thematic Depth sneaking through#she did it with varric and storytelling and here she is again 'what like it's hard' style. god fuck EA so much#having to admit that the thing happened and was not in his control and that he's different now and can't go back is harder to deal with#than the actual ways he's different now when engaged with honestly. I mean. yeah. yeah. trauma breaks and rearranges a self#and no one goes 'great love this I'd like some more' right after that#add all the cultural fear and shame around demon possession in andrastian thedas and I would not be doing well either haha#but also. poor spite in the middle of all that being like physical reality is already so weird but I really don't want this to be happening
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[note: i know for a fact i'm doing this for the same reason that i fixate on nebulous fandom anxieties at other times: helplessness regarding anxieties about larger geopolitical issues]
feeling in a very weird position right now thinking about the fact theres a nonzero chance that either one of the cosplayers ive become acquainted with or someone in their immediate circle could do brownface in the future and people are gonna come at me like 'hey why are you not calling them out and/or giving them a racial sensitivity seminar and/or personally fistfighting them on the floor of the doujin circle event'
#i strongly feel westerners darkening their skin for cosplay are generally doing it in an 'i know this is offensive and dont care' edgy way#but people over here largely Dont Fucking Know because the cultural context behind why it's bad is not there#and i don't...personally feel like it's my job either to educate near-strangers on this or to make a big deal out of how i condemn it#(someone i just met and already became fond of said she wants to dress as a brown character and im already getting nervous#in case she does end up painting her skin and the pics are shared around or come to the attention of the western ppl i know in fandom#imagining people that i know pointing at me and going Hey Ebil You Are Brown. So You Hate Her Now Right? Slash Why Didnt You Stop Her)#cool. great. i wish instead of brown i were Invisible Color#id actually love if eventually people over here did learn more about that through me?#not even in an I Have To Correct Them way. just a cultural exchange way. the way im glad to learn what offends japanese ppl#they might find it interesting and worth knowing! but my ass trying to lecture people right now would absolutely just be...bad. bad.#'oh i just met this american and they seemed cool but then they started going on about how i was offending american values so. gaijins eh'#it's obvious to me nothing constructive would be achieved. i just hope people understand that.#i dunno. i dunno. i dunnoooooo.
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#im just so angry#all i keep thinking is what the fuck#i know im lucky i live in a blue state#but also it just makes me angry that now i have to deal with the nonsense other people chose#and why did so many people pick him??#like where all his crimes and cruelties not enough???#i just dont get it#like a little part of me hopes something miraculous will happen and ill wake up tomorrow to find out she actually won#but idk man its just not looking great#i dont know how were gonna make it thorough this#hes already done things that will have lasting effects#its gonna be so much worse for four more years
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every now and again i wonder why izuru assigned me hajime kin so damn hard it came true like how did this motherfucker know everything like that. and then i remember the section of my pinned post asking that people please not use the word "talent" if they want to compliment me bc i have a rough history with the idea of inherent talent. and how that is a genuine fact about me and something that has deeply influenced who i am as a person. and that that has been in my pinned post for longer than i've been a danganronpa fan. and i understand
#marzi speaks#having self-worth issues in middle school is actually just the beginning stages of kinning hajime hinata#it's ok tho i'm at the point where i've accepted this about myself. i lean into it now#like last semester. when we had to make performance art projects about a facet of our identities#and i chose. my own lack of a self-perception. because i straight up do not know who i am#i even used the fucking beach as a metaphor. i went to the goddamn beach at night. the whole vibe was dissociative and stressed#it was a GREAT final piece too i'm still super proud of it. but like goddamn i really. i really did that huh#head in hands. it was authentic#i STILL don't know what my deal is. i dunno what it is ppl remember me for#but shit my friends love me. n that's enough i think. for now#being friends with systems is so fun bc sometimes an alter you barely know knows you better than you know yourself#i still haven't spoken to izuru since then afaik. mfer came to my inbox called me out and fucked off. kind of iconic#but it still keeps me up some nights. how.... how much did you know#I DIDN'T EVEN HAVE MY CRUSH ON KOMAEDA YET. HOW DID YOU KNOW
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The people that have abandoned me really need to stop talking to me like they have any right to tell me what to do, or I swear to God, I'm gonna get the FUCKING hammer.
#inspired by my bitch of a mother sending me a text that basically said u need to get ur life together#as i always say! LET HE WHO IS WITHOUT SIN CAST THE FIRST STONE!#this woman's life is a dumpster fire#and she specifically said 'i won't financially support u. i'll always be there for u but that's a conditional statement'#which is INSANE because that don't make no sense AND she has NEVER financially supported me? genuinely why does she think she has any#fucking right...😭😭😭#meanwhile. my dad. during the shitstorm that has been my family's existence lately. is being way more lax about me getting a job and moving#out than he has been in the past. because some fucks despite being shitheads aren't total assholes#this post is also inspired by my insufferable sister who fucked off to another fucking continent when i was 7 and treats me...well. exactly#how u would expect an upper middle class dumb jock to treat her awesome nerd little brother. and is always telling me i'm making#the wrong fucking decisions and judging me.#these ppl r so funny bc they think this is normal and that i will endure it bc the power of love or what the fuck ever. wrong! i have been#on the brink of cutting off my entire family since i was fourteen. now that i actually have the power to do some cutting off i'll be honest#i feel pretty great#it is all of course a horrible nightmare and i wish things were different etc etc etc. but in the words of supernatural. i was always going#to end up here.#while i am thinking about such things what's my other sister's deal? she has not reached out to me for years. it was like i turned 18 and#she was like ok who cares abt this dude now#which was incredibly bizarre and makes me feel like a stupid idiot who did something wrong but i know i didn't. and she was always the most#supportive of my siblings. i don't know what her problem is#in her defense her life has been weird lately. but 'lately' has lasted long enough that it's just her life now. and whenever i try to be th#one to reach out she basically gives me...nothing.#while i am thinking about such things i will acknowledge the slays. my one totally kickass sister who is the only other one of my siblings#who understands anything. i am rly grateful for her and she has been so good to me for so long especially during the recent shitstorm#she is moving very far away and that has brought up my abandonment issues but i genuinely am so happy for her and her family and she is ver#adamant about me visiting and PAYING for the visit (or at least doing the scamming that pays for the visit so i don't have to pay lol) and#making sure i'll be ok.#it's not all bad! i am going to be ok! there r so many people in my life who love me and love me in a way that makes sense to me and doesn'#make me feel like the world's worst man#personal log
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does anyone know when life is supposed to calm down. does anyone know when it all ends
#im so exhausted.#ive got a fucking annoying headache and i had a nightmare earlier and im just having a bad day#and now im literally dealing with bpd^2 rn like.#my ex is having a really hard time because her moms health is declining and shes being put in a really hard position#and shes horribly stressed out but she feels guilty about feeling like her life is falling apart bc her mom obviously has it worse#and i know what thats like and i know its just going to be hell for her now and i cant fix that#and i just like. god if i could take all of her pain i would#she doesnt deserve the horrible fucking set of cards she was dealt#my nightmare was actually originally that i went to the hospital with her to see her mother#it did not end remotely related to that but it just. yeah not great#also struggling bc i dont know how to handle people i like (separately than her) being in relationships or liking other people#it is so. so fucking. i dont even know its like physically painful and when i see them talk about it it like ruins my whole day and#its so hard to handle these mood swings and like. Have A Life#its why i got off tumblr like i just cant. i cant have all these feelings and still be okay most of the time#it feels like im trying to stay afloat but every day the ball and chain on my ankle gets exponentially heavier#idk. i just like. cant regulate my emotions. whatsoever. clearly#jace.txt
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#twisting that knife with the biggest most innocent eyes (via @autumnslantern)
AS WELL HE SHOULD because, Lan Xichen!!!!! How long have you known that was da-ge's body, Lan Xichen?!?! How long have you known and yet Huaisang has had no word from you, no letter, no messenger pigeon or smoke signal to tell him da-ge's body had been fucking dismembered, Lan Xichen????? Why is Huaisang hearing about this at the same moment as everyone else, including the murder suspect, Lan Xichen?????
Ugh. I love Lan Xichen as a blorbo but (lbr, because) he is the most morally frustrating character in the whole story.
THE UNTAMED Episode 42/50
#liu haikuan does a great job of portraying 'jesus christ i did Not want to deal with you about this huaisang' with his eyes#but like. you should have told him!!!!!#even though he fully already knew and is lying to your face rn#you didn't know that! and so you should have been in qinghe WEEKS AGO with a sad message and what remains of mingjue's corpse#but he didn't want to deal with huaisang's hysterics#but huaisang made himself hard to deal with in the first place because er-ge was and remains fundamentally untrustworthy!!!!!!!!#hhhhhhhhhh. there is a Reason i love seeing xichen destroyed a shell of himself at the end#(and also--to be clear in case anyone has not picked up on this yet--i want huaisang and xichen to kiss/fuck nasty about it)#hhhhhhhhhhh cql made a Lot Of Choice that i would not have made#but the way they made it So Clear that er-ge and san-ge have just sort of.......forgotten......that huaisang is nie mingjue's actual didi#and like. cares and would care about what happened to him and WHERE HIS BODY IS NOW is just. chefs kiss.#anyway. i'm fine i'm normal.#mdzs#the untamed
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I go back to college in a day I'm fucjing sick thinking about it
#like yes. i did specifically sign up for classes#but that was like. before. and i didnt have to go to school.#and now school is coming up and im like wait. now i actually have to go? like. do what i said i was going to do and what i signed up for?#thats so bullshit#ugh and i dont know anyone which is great but also terrible because well. then ill be alone and have to make friends.#and i am AWFUL at making friends like. absolutely shit-tier lol.#im too weird for normal people and too normal for weird people.#and i dont put on my best when im dealing with new people i just dont know how to function or make friends its bad#ive always been like. adopted by an extrovert and absorbed into their friend group lol.#fuck im so nervous#like its really not that bad because its just college but at the same time like fuck.#i need to make new friends and get my education and figure out what the fuck im doing here yknow?#who do i want to be?#what do i want to do?#but arrrggghgh its so stressful and scary to think about lol#anyway#if youve read this far through my tags i love you. and also you can just ignore this one.#just a vent. nothing more.#vent post#im like if a girl goes to college
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like i would | s.r
pairing: spencer reid x bau!fem!reader
a/n: ok im gonna be honest idk how i feel about this one, i just wanted to finish it and put it out so apologies in advance if its not the best lol. this was requested with the prompt "i bet he can't fuck you like i can"! feedback and reblogs are always appreciated ! thanks for being paitent while i got this one out <3
cw: 18+ minors dni, smut, fingering, munch!spencer, jealous!spencer, unprotected p in v (wrap it before you whack it), reader's bf has a name which i hate in fics but its so hard to write this trope without a name so, afab!reader,
summary: a confession about your sex life makes it's way to the one person you'd hope wouldn't hear, and now he's determined to rectify the way you've been wronged
wc: 4.5k
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you were a great asset to the bau. it was why you were personally recommended by emily to transfer out of sex crimes, the skill set you brought alongside the field training you had proved to be vital for the team’s success lately. you were also a great asset to the team. the bau was notorious for having people turnover fast, and you knew they were apprehensive with newcomers. but you managed to hit it off with every single member, one more than others.
spencer reid did not expect someone like you to join the team. not that he didn’t have faith in your talents and skills, he’s read your file and obviously knows you’re more than qualified to be here. he just did not expect someone who looked like you to join the team, someone who didn’t look beaten down by the horrors of the world and still believed in pots of gold at the end of rainbows.
it didn’t help that you were so beautiful he literally would feel his heart ache when you walked in. like literally, would have to rub his chest to soothe the pain. and as spencer would, he would logic out his feelings with science because that’s all they are, scientific chemical reactions in the body. but what he felt in your friendship, what he felt when he was lucky enough to be in your presence, was something no textbook, theorem, or equation could explain.
so imagine the size of the fucking hammer coming down on his head when he finds out you have a boyfriend who: 1. is not him, and 2. is an actual real life bozo.
apparently you’d been seeing damon from organized crime for about a month now, that’s what he heard from penelope, and you ‘claim’ to be super happy.
spencer doesn’t buy it.
he’s seen the way your ‘relationship’ operates, and he’s got the facts to back it up. damon never lets you get a word in when you’re in group settings, even purposefully talking over you when you’re clearly attempting to speak. majority of the time he’s condescending about your job as a profiler for the bau, saying that him and his team bring down drug rings, but you guys ‘just read their horoscope or whatever and decide the killer.’
it made spencer’s blood boil hotter than the sun. he couldn’t figure out why you put up with it, and why you continue to.
the final straw that broke the camel's back about his disapproval on your relationship choices, is what he overheard on the jet one time on the way back from a case.
the girls were talking in the back of the jet, unaware of spencer’s very awake mind despite his visibly sleeping body.
“i don’t know guys,” you had started with a sigh, “you think it’s weird right?”
“that your own boyfriend won’t go down on you? yeah hon, that’s fucking weird.” emily strikes.
“what did he say exactly?” jj asked.
“he said it increases the risk of STIs on the mouth? and doesn’t like the feeling of thighs crushing his head? and that even with all the … grooming … it’s still unnatural ?”
emily gagged while jj continued, “um…but do you like…on him?”
“yes! he literally won’t touch me unless i do!” you rage whisper.
“i am about to give him an organized crime to deal with,” emily half jokes, “what an asshole, why are you still with him?”
“i don’t know, he’s still nice to me i guess, and maybe i’m just being dramatic. or maybe i’m just not someone people go down on, who knows.” you sigh.
spencer stops listening, he can’t hear you talk so poorly of yourself. not when it’s so far from the truth yet you’ve been indoctrinated to think it’s accurate. how anyone could take advantage of you like that is beyond him, but it did light a fire inside of him and made him determined to help you realize you deserve so much better. if that happens to be him, then who is he to fight that?
—
spencer doesn’t get his chance to prove it to you for another two weeks, when you’d come over to his apartment for a movie night after getting in a fight with damon, your date night being canceled and leading you to spencer’s doorsteps, all dolled up with tears lining your eyes asking to come in.
he doesn’t even have time to be mad at your shithole boyfriend when he’s ushering you inside, offering you to sit on the couch while he goes and put a kettle on the stove for tea.
“i’m really sorry to just show up like this, spence.”
he doesn’t even blink before calling out from the kitchen, “don’t apologize, i’m always here for you. anytime and anywhere.”
you give him a soft smile before returning your gaze to the soft glow of doctor who.
he returns cradling two mugs in one hand and a pack of haribo gummies in the other. spencer doesn’t care for gummies, he’s more of a chocolate guy, but he knows it’s your favorite. so he makes sure to keep a couple bags in his apartment for you.
“my favorite!” you gush. his heart warms at your smile as he sits next to you on the couch. you naturally gravitate towards him to lean your head on his shoulder, and it’s automatic for spencer to wrap an arm around your shoulders to pull you closer.
the whirs and whooshes of the tardis fill the silence for the next hour as you visibly become calmer than when you first arrived. he decides this is a good time to ask, “do you want to talk about it?” as he turns his head to look at you.
“i don’t know,” you say quietly popping another gummy in, “i’m starting to believe it's just a me problem. like, maybe i’m just objectively not a great partner, and that’s why we keep getting in these fights. you know this time, he said i’m not worth all the effort and stress i bring him and that because of me he’s gonna bald at 29? i’m not a scientist like you or anything but even i know that, at least, can’t be my fault.” you end with a chuckle.
spencer knows he should probably comfort you in this time of honesty you’ve graced him with, squash your insecurities like a pesky bug on the windshield, and tell you how beautiful you are in as many words it’ll take for you to believe it (and he knows a lot of words).
but right now? he’s just fucking pissed.
not at you, never at you. at your situation, yes. at that sorry excuse of a partner let alone agent, immensely.
so he can’t help what escapes his mouth next, “why do you let yourself get treated like shit?”
you look up at him in surprise, at both the cursing and what he said, “what?”
“you’re constantly talking about how awful he treats you, and yet everyday you still go back to him knowing it’s going to repeat the next day. i just want to know why you don’t respect yourself enough to not let that happen to you.”
pulling away to sit far from him on the couch, you start letting the annoyance show on your face, “spencer, that’s not fair at all. you think it’s my fault? do you really think i want to feel like this?”
“yes!” he shouts, “you seem like you do with how much you crawl back to him everytime, and everytime you let him back in.”
“okay, i think i should go,” you stand up and grab your things, “it was a mistake to come here, goodbye spencer.”
he grabs your wrist before you can get too far, “i just have to know, what is it?”
“what’s what spence, let me go.”
“what keeps you going back to him, it can’t be because you love him. it’s obviously not because you’re happy with him,” he lets out.
“you don’t know anything about me or my life, spencer!” you snatch away your arm and start heading towards the door.
“it’s definitely not because the sex is good, because i know it’s not.”
any emotion you had on your face wipes away like an etch a sketch, staring blankly at the door, hearing the man you’ve harbored a crush on since you started at the bureau years ago, telling you he knows your sex life is abysmal.
your voice comes out small, “h- how would you know that?” you don’t dare to turn around, knowing that if you did any resolve you held onto, any denial of emotions you’ve stripped from yourself would come pouring out like a broken dam.
the couch groans at a loss of weight, and the floorboards creak closer and closer to you.
“i heard you, on the jet.”
you’re especially glad he can’t see the blood draining from your face. if your heart already wasn’t at your feet, it’s most likely six feet under at this point.
he heard you?
“when you were talking with the others about how he doesn’t reciprocate, and won’t sleep with you unless you get him off.” he continues.
the room is getting hotter by the millisecond, temperature about to be comparable to the sun’s core. it’s one thing to have just anyone hear the intimate details of your life, but spencer? the man to which you’d been using damon to get over?
the only sound that can be heard is your increasingly heavy breathing, and spencer feels like he’s caught a fish on his line and is ready to reel you in as he inches closer to you.
“you’re okay with that? not being taken care of in the way you deserve?”
his presence is merely nanometers behind you, the ghost of his fingers looking for landing on your hips. when you don’t move away, and he hears your breath hitch at the contact, he sets his hands more earnestly on your curves as he leans down to the nape of your neck.
“just don’t know,” kiss, “how anyone,” kiss, “wouldn’t want,” kiss, “to give you everything.” kiss.
your head lolls back onto his firm chest as he whispers in your ear, “cat got your tongue, sweetheart? you were so mouthy not even five minutes ago. be honest with me, has he even ever made you come?”
the whimpers escape you without warning and you find a single decibel of voice to speak, “spencer…” hoping the whine would dissuade him to let it go.
“uh uh, i asked you a question,” his arm tightens around the front of your waist to press back and fully feel him, “answer me.”
your lexicon has depleted except for the one word you know he’s desperately waiting for you to say, and the one he knows is the answer. yet you know the second it leaves your mouth, everything changes. and maybe you’re okay with that.
“no.”
spencer hums lowly, “has anyone made you come?”
“no.” you say again, softer this time.
“should we change that?”
this was not what you expected when you came to see him after your failed night out. the amount of processing you’d done in the last year to essentially not be thinking about spencer 24/7 was extensive. and you were ready to render it all useless in a matter of seconds.
so you let the strap of your bag fall down your arm and hit the ground with a thud, and finally turned around to look the good doctor in his eyes. while his voice held traces of anger and frustration, you came to see his eyes were full of reassurance and comfort, the spence you always knew to prioritize your wellbeing more than anything.
he looked down at you and slid his hand to up to cup your jaw, and he hears the smallest murmur, so delicate yet so full of want leave your lips.
“yes.”
that was all spencer needed to catch your lips in a heated kiss, moving your body to the closest wall as he places a hand behind your head to protect you from the wall’s impact while the other pins your waist to the wall.
you move your arms to wrap around his neck and keep him pinned to you with no escape, like he’d ever want to. his lips detach from yours and make a descent towards your neck again, taking deliberate effort to locate the sensitive spots.
he finds one just behind your ear and spends time sucking and bruising up the spot, relishing in the soft whimpers leaving your mouth. while you’re lost in the sensation on your neck, you don’t notice spencer move one of his hands closer to the button of your pants, effortlessly (and impressively) opening it up.
detaching from your neck with a heavy pant, he moves back to lean against your forehead with his own and look you in the eyes to ask, “is this okay? we can stop if you want, i didn’t mean to be so forw-“
“please don’t stop.”
he searches your eyes for any conflict and finds none, considering it the okay to continue his downward descent. he returns his lips to the second home they’ve made on your lips and starts to push your pants down over the curve of your ass, leaving your panties on.
the flash of purple lace underwear glares at him when he glances down, and suddenly he remembers what got him in this position in the first place.
“were you wearing this for him?” he lets out condescendingly, “you really think he deserved to see you like this?”
spencer’s fingers brush against your front, leaving your heavy breaths hitting him in the face. you can’t think of anything to say. hell, you’re not even sure if you know any words right now. all you can offer is a pathetic moan, and spencer doesn’t think that’s enough.
“come on, don’t get all shy now. what were you expecting him to even do, hm? thought you said he didn’t care about making you feel good.” he taunts as his middle finger traces the outlines of your cunt through your panties.
you shudder at the contact, leaning your head back against the wall as he refuses to break eye contact. he’s waiting for you to say something, raising his eyebrows expectantly as he’s slowed down his movements on you. taking a shallow breath you open your mouth, “h-, he didn’t care, just thought if i ke-, kept looking nice he’d wanna, fuck, do something.” you moan out.
“and did he?” he moved his hand back up to slowly slip into your panties.
his finger dips all the way down to your entrance to gather your wetness and spread it all the way back up to your clit, your mouth dropping open as you let out a whiny, “no.”
“what a shame.” he dips a finger into your hole and you let out a pornographic moan.
he drags his finger in and out slowly making sure to watch your face as it contorts in pleasure. once he feels you’ve gotten used to it he slips in a second finger, increasing the pace and moving his thumb to circle your clit again.
“oh fuck,” you cry.
“baby, you’re so tight.” he whispers. the way you clenched around his two digits made feel almost pussy drunk, and he wasn’t even inside you yet. he starts to wonder if damon was doing anything really to prioritize your pleasure, and it only just worked him up more. he felt more determined to bring you to finish, so he picks up the pace and increases the pressure on your clit.
you drop your head to his shoulder no longer being able to hold yourself up anymore, the sensation of his fingers on you taking over, loose whimpers and moans falling out of your mouth every other second.
“spencer…shit, i’m gonna come…”
“let go for me, baby.” he whispers in your ear.
the pleasure barrels through you like a wrecking ball, knocking the wind out of your mind and body. your legs turn into jelly and you almost fall before spencer holds you up. you try to regulate your breathing into his shoulder, hoping to calm down before you look up and meet his eyes again.
he makes that choice for you when he gingerly lifts your head up, his eyes silently asking if you’re okay. you don’t even bother responding before softly pressing your lips to his again, hoping he can feel your response to his silent question.
the kiss picks up in urgency, and soon his hands are back to exploring your body again. they slide down to the backs of your thighs while he murmurs a small, “jump.” and lifts you to wrap your legs around his waist. without breaking the kiss he walks you both to his bedroom and places you on his bed with care.
his fists flank you on both sides as he leans down to kiss you, and he moves further down kissing along your neck and chest. you reach down to the bottom of your top to pull it over your head, leaving you in the purple lacy bra that matches your panties.
he detaches from you and stands at full height, gazing at the sight of you spread out on his bed with your hair framing you like a halo. he can’t even help himself when he says, “you look so beautiful, angel.” the blush rises to your cheeks, and you beckon him to come back down to which he happily obliges.
spencer moves down further towards your hips, and his lips ghost over the lace band spreading along your waist. his fingers play with the fabric and he moves his face to be directly in line with your clothed cunt. your breathing gets heavy, and you anticipate what he’s about to do.
“wait, you don’t, you don’t have to do that, spence. i already came.” starting to feel a bit guilty at the man above you potentially feeling obligated to do this, as you realize that if he heard you on the jet, he heard about the one thing damon refused to do for you.
“sweetheart, i’d love to keep making you feel good as long as you let me, okay? you gonna let me make you feel good?” he breaths, pressing chaste kisses to your inner thighs.
you give a slight nod and he gently pulls your panties off your legs, marveling at the light glistening off your cunt. he kisses up the plush of your thighs before pausing right where you need him the most. you look down at him and meet his unwavering eyes full of love.
he places a long kiss to your core before licking a long stripe. you moan out languishly, the euphoric feeling taking over every sense in your body. you’re unable to comprehend how you went so long without feeling this, it almost feels criminal. and the way spencer was eating you out, felt like this was doing it for him too even though you were the one getting pleasured.
it turned you on even more to know he was getting off on how much you were enjoying this. your head was spinning off into another realm, and the only thing tethering you to this reality was the grip of your hands in his hair. his tongue made circles and shapes all over your cunt before dipping down to thrust into your hole.
your thighs shake and threaten to clamp shut on his head, and he uses his wide hands to wrap around your thighs to hold them in place. “oh my god fuck, that feels so good…spence…please..” you’re not even sure what you’re begging for, but of course, spencer does when he adds a finger into your hole and moves his tongue to focus back on your clit. the combined sensations were enough to tip you over the edge for the second time tonight, your release glistening on his chin as he moved back up to kiss your lips again.
your heavy panting tries to bring you back down from your high, a mix of sweat and the taste of you lingering everywhere.
spencer smooths your hair back as he moves his body to lie next to you, “i think, damon’s a fucking loser, if he doesn’t think that’s worth doing.” he says between pants.
you hum in agreement, or just in acknowledgement at whatever he said since you’re still reeling from the endorphin release. hiking your leg over his body to straddle him, you clumsily reach for his belt and attempt to undo the clasps to reach his growing member. you pull his pants down and palm him through his boxers, reveling in the broken moans falling from his mouth. you start inching downwards when spencer grabs you by the forearms and flips you over so you’re back on the bed staring up at him.
“not tonight, sweetheart. it’s about you right now, wanna make sure you know what you deserve.”
“but…” you pathetically respond.
“i don’t know what that neanderthal tells you, but sex is not transactional. i think if i ever see that guy again, i’d punch him for making you think otherwise.”
the words go straight to your core, turning you on even more. spencer takes note of how your pupils widen and your chin tilts up towards him.
“besides,” he presses his crotch to yours, “the sex wasn’t even that good with him, right?”
you moan out again, unable to find words to satisfy his question. he leans back up and off the bed to fully remove his boxers and you finally get a good look at what was underneath.
holy fuck, he was huge. you propped yourself on your forearms to get a better look at him, and watched as he lazily stroked himself while he sauntered back over to you. the image was so lewd, you hoped you could borrow some of his eidetic memory so you could hold on to this moment forever.
his face held a smug smirk at your awestruck one, and he felt his ego inflate even higher, “by the looks of your reaction, i’m guessing he’s never been much of a, challenge, for you in bed has he?”
you dumbly shake your head no, “definitely not as big as you.” you whisper, more to yourself than him.
his smirk grows wider, “don’t worry, baby, i’ll take real good care of you.” he says as he climbs over you to line himself up to your entrance.
you feel him slowly start to push in, the sensation of being split open growing bigger by the second. your brows furrow and your eyes are shut tight as you wait for the pressure to turn into pleasure.
if spencer thought you around his fingers had him pussydrunk, what he’s feeling now has to be close to pussy poisoning or something because he cannot think of anything in existence that feels as good as the walls of your cunt clenching around his cock. it’s taking everything in him to not break, to just fuck you senseless and reach his peak.
once his hips are flush with yours and he’s fully settled within you, he waits for you to give him the okay to move.
you, on the other hand, have never felt more full ever. damon was not nearly this big, nor has any other guy you’ve been with. it’s a bit of a miracle on how it fit inside you, and how it felt better than anything you could’ve imagined. the pressure and slight pain subsides, and with a slight nod spencer takes the cue to start moving.
the first thrust has you both moaning out in harmony together, and he sets the pace nice and slow so as to make sure you’re comfortable.
but it's not enough for you, you need him to fuck you.
“spence…harder.”
he stills at your word, leaning up so he’s perpendicular to you.
“whatever you say, princess.”
and he starts pounding into you, hips rutting at a pace you can’t even keep up with. the whimpers and moans gush out as the familiar coil begins to build within you. he taps your leg to lift it up over his shoulder to allow him deeper access, and he’s able to reach that one spot you’d heard about from all your friends, on reddit, in movies. you had no idea this type of feeling even existed, and spencer was hitting it with precision every single thrust over and over.
“fuck,” you whine.
“that feel good, baby?” he teases, “the way you’re squeezing my cock so tight, i doubt that fucker ever made you feel like this, huh?”
your tits bounce with every thrust, and the deepened angle has you reaching your climax fast. spencer feels it too and drops his head to whisper in your ear.
“i bet he’s never fucked you like this,” he continues his taunt, “he’d never be able to fuck you like i can, make you come three times in one night like i can.”
you whimper, “spencer,”
“say it, sweetheart. say no one’s ever fucked you like me.”
he was trying to kill you, death during intercourse would be a crazy way to go out but it’s a fate you’d be willing to accept. nonetheless, you comply.
“never ever, fuck, been fucked like you, baby.”
spencer has never felt more satisfied, “good girl, now come.” and with a final thrust he lets you reach your peak as he releases himself into you.
in the midst of groans he gingerly pulls out of you and you whimper at the loss.
the next few minutes are just filled with the sounds of yours and his heavy breathing, before spencer leans over to you, “was that too much?”
still in your daze you let out a soft giggle, “spencer, i think you’ve ruined all men for me.”
he smiles back, “i meant what i said, damon’s really stupid if he’s not willing to do all that for you.”
you intertwine your hand with his, “you know, i never really liked him anyway. i was just using him to get over you.”
“me?” he says incredulously.
you nod, “i didn’t know if you would’ve felt the same so i just tried to move on to someone else, stupid i know, but i don’t know it made sense then.”
he pulls you closer to rest in the crevice of his chest, “i have been into you since the day you walked into the bullpen, and letting you slip through my fingers is a mistake i will never make again.”
you hug him tightly before groaning out loud, “shit, i have to tell damon it’s over now don’t i.”
“i mean, i could tell him if you want.”
“spence, no. i think you might kill him.” you laugh, “i can do it, i just don’t want him to get all ‘organized crime’ on me.”
“just tell him i have a gun.”
“so does he?”
“mine’s bigger.” he smirks.
you roll your eyes, “well, yes.”
#spencer reid smut#spencer reid x reader#spencer reid#criminal minds#spencer reid fanfiction#spencer reid fanfic#spencer reid x y/n#criminal minds fanfic#spencer reid x you#dr spencer reid#criminal minds fanfiction#spencer reid x fem!reader#spencer reid x fanfiction#spencer reid x self insert#spencer reid x fem!reader smut#spencer reid x oc
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Aight now let the God Games begin.
Apollo: Uh I... Like killing that many Sirens was slight overkill don't you think?
Athena: Tbf the sirens are massive bitches...
Apollo: Fair, that was good vocal work sis, let him go.
Hephaestus: Trust is not given it's FORGED (winks) you see what I did there? Anyways he sacrificed his entire crew that wasn't his best moment.
Athena: Yes, but if you let him go, he can still BUILD a future with his fam.
Hephaestus (laughing): Good one, let him go.
Aphrodite: Odysseus should have been home sooner then his Mom wouldn't have died.
Athena:
Athena: Wtf seriously?
(Quick Thought)
Athena: Come on, Aphrodite.
Ares: DON'T MESS WITH MY GIRL ALSO YOUR ODYSSEUS IS A SLY BITCH JUST LIKE YOU AND HIS SON'S A LOSER.
Athena: (rage activate) DON'T YOU DARE SPEAK OF MY BOY LIKE THAT!
Ares: gods okay chill
Aphrodite: awww so cute you do have a heart
Athena: Besides Ares we can watch ody kill all those assholes in his palace and I'll get popcorn.
Ares: GREAT FUCKING DEAL!
Hera: Look I've been pretty pissed at Zeus lately just gimme one good reason.
Athena: So he's smart.
Hera:
Athena: He's... Uh... Did I mention he's smart?
Hera:
Athena: He's kinda funny.
Hera: seriously?
Athena: Okay goddamnit he's not a serial cheater like Dad alright?
(Collective gasps, Hermes is lying on the floor laughing silently)
Apollo: Oh wow.
Artemis: She actually just said that.
Athena: (internally) shit fuck just act like you didn't just say that.
Hera: Husband goals, let him go.
Athena: (internally) act natural... (To Zeus) So I won, let him go.
Zeus: You little shit-
(lightning)
#epic the musical#epic the wisdom saga#jorge rivera herrans#incorrect quotes#epic athena#god games#greek gods
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But I Love Him | Oscar Piastri x Reader
Summary: Oscar Piastri’s girlfriend is Danny Ric’s biggest fan. When Oscar announces he’s signing for McLaren, she’s not sure how to react.
Warnings: Fluff. Crack fic
Only a small one. Inspired by Nicole Piastri’s hilarious podcast appearance. Did I push back my scheduled posts in favour of this sudden smau? Yes
20233-2023 season
F1 Masterlist
━━━━ ༻𖥸༺ ━━━━
2021
mclaren just posted
liked by yn_ln, landonorris and others
mclaren what a race 🏆 an amazing drive from our honey badger
10,333 comments
landonorris great race, mate
yn_ln that’s my driver!
→ oscarpiastri love you too
→ yn_ln shush, daniel might see this and then think we’re dating
→ oscarpiastri we are dating
→ yn_ln you’re ruining my chances
markwebber skills
→ yn_ln lovely, wonderful, talented mark. fancy spoiling a girl and getting her danny ric merch?
→ oscarpiastri you don’t talk like that to me
→ yn_ln because i have to deal with you leaving your wet towels on the bed
→ yn_ln plus all your merch is alpine
→ user1 she's so real for that tho
━━━━ ༻𖥸༺ ━━━━
2022
yn_ln welp, there go my chances of meeting danny ric if you’re not going to be an f1 driver
→ danielricciardo i’m sure we’ll both be in aus at the same time in the future ;)
→ yn_ln omg he talked to me. oscar, he talked to me!
→ oscarpiastri yup, i can see that
→ yn_ln why don’t you care?!
logansargeant that’s one way to break the news
→ yn_ln he’s so dramatic isn’t he
→ user2 why is oscar still with her? she’s so mean to him
→ user3 it's called banter. try it some time, babe
aussiegrit never a dull day with you
→ yn_ln at least you get to hear about this beforehand. the alpine announcement shook me
→ oscarpiastri um, it shook me too?
→ yn_ln do you need me to stroke your hair again?
→ aussiegrit @/yn_ln you're no better
nicolepiastri your girlfriend is distraught that you didn’t consult her before being a drama queen. i raised you better than this
→ yn_ln 🤍🤍
→ oscarpiastri beaten for #1 child by my own girlfriend
oscarpiastri just posted
liked by yn_ln, logansargeant and others
oscarpiastri it’s official
6,981 comments
yn_ln but i love daniel…
→ oscarpiastri i know. everyone does
→ yn_ln but i love him the most
→ oscarpiastri i know
→ user4 bit weird that you’re not congratulating him
fernandoalo_official amazing news. can’t wait to see you on track
user5 mclaren are so messy for using an alpine pic
user6 okay but hello mr piastri. i was not familiar with your game
→ user7 yn saw the vision when she fell for him years ago
→ yn_ln c’mon guys, he was cute before
→ oscarpiastri i’m still cute now!
→ yn_ln no, now you’re hot
→ oscarpiastri oh 🤭
→ landonorris fuck me, is this what i have to deal with now?
→ logansargeant yes
→ arthur_leclerc yes
→ frederikvestiofficial yes
━━━━ ༻𖥸༺ ━━━━
2023
yn_ln just posted
liked by oscarpiastri, frederikvestiofficial and others
yn_ln hubby’s first f1 race weekend (but more importantly, i met THE daniel ricciardo. and he was wearing his best colours)
3,813 comments
oscarpiastri i thought this was going to be a really sweet post and then
→ landonorris i actually watched his smile fall
→ yn_ln he’s in love with you now. it’s your responsibility to brush his hair and promise him he’s special
→ oscarpiastri between you and my mother, i don’t think i’ll ever have a comfortable day on the internet
danielricciardo i took really nice photos with you, and you post this one?
→ yn_ln please don’t be mad at me. i cry easily
oscarpiastri it’s bad enough that the world knows daniel is your favourite driver. can you at least pretend mclaren is your favourite team?
→ yn_ln go papaya!
→ yn_ln love you, pookie
→ oscarpiastri love you too, sweetheart
→ user8 the fact that no matter how hard she bullies him, he can never NOT say i love you back
aussiegrit proud of our boy
→ yn_ln me too!
→ oscarpiastri say it to my face, you coward
→ user9 how is oscar so sweet and introverted in interviews but then we see him like this on his girlfriend’s insta
→ oscarpiastri she brings out the demon in me
danielricciardo just posted
liked by landonorris, maxverstappen1 and others
danielricciardo stole my seat so i stole your girl tagged: oscarpiastri, yn_ln
4,303 comments
arthur_leclerc i bet he’s crying in his driver’s room
logansargeant i joked about stealing her once and he hit me with a wrench
frederikvestiofficial i made her laugh once and he bit me
landonorris @/mclaren are you seeing this? i think i want a new teammate
user10 pr are screaming
→ user11 they do anytime yn comments on things
oscarpiastri keep her
→ yn_ln oi!
→ yn_ln i mean… he did give you permission
→ logansargeant where was this treatment for us?
→ oscarpiastri i’m fed up of her now. i still had hope back then
maxverstappen1 i thought we were forever
→ yn_ln you can’t beat my devotion to him
→ maxverstappen1 no but i can beat your devotion to your boyfriend
→ yn_ln eh
oscarpiastri just posted
liked by arthur_leclerc, aussiegrit and others
oscarpiastri she loves me really
4,811 comments
yn_ln my whole 💕
→ oscarpiastri i love you lots
→ yn_ln you know you’re my favourite guy forever
landonorris can confirm that they are disgustingly in love around the paddock
→ yn_ln you’re just jealous because you keep trying to steal him
danielricciardo i was stood next to them once and she didn’t even glance at me because oscar was making her laugh
→ nicolepiastri he’s not even funny
→ yn_ln don’t say these things. you’ll ruin my reputation as danny ric stan #1
user12 he’s not beating the orange cat allegations
→ user13 not with all the comments over the years of her stroking his hair to make him feel better
logansargeant bro relax. no one’s going to take her from you
→ oscarpiastri daniel’s rejoined red bull. her favourite driver is back with her favourite team. i have to stake my claim
→ yn_ln when he gets possessive 😍
→ arthur_leclerc 🤮🤮
frederikvestiofficial i thought not being in f1 meant i could escape this. get it off my fyp
#formula 1#f1#formula 1 smau#f1 smau#formula 1 social media au#f1 social media au#social media au imagine#formula 1 imagine#formula 1 headcanon#formula 1 drabble#formula 1 one shot#formula 1 fluff#formula 1 x reader#f1 imagine#f1 headcanon#f1 drabble#f1 one shot#f1 fluff#f1 x reader#oscar piastri#oscar piastri imagine#oscar piastri headcanon#oscar piastri drabble#oscar piastri one shot#oscar piastri fluff#oscar piastri smau#oscar piastri x reader
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𝐂𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐬: Toji x fem/afab! reader - explicit content; minors DNI - oral (m! receiving) - ball-massaging - face + throat-fucking - praise - pet names (baby, cutie, mama, sweet thing) - implied that reader has given oral prior - first-time Toji finding enjoyment in receiving oral - heavy depictions of a blowjob - mention of spit.
𝐀𝐮𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐫'𝐬 𝐍𝐨𝐭𝐞: "Toji has never really enjoyed oral. At least, not until Y/n went down on them for the first time…"
I was playing with NSFW prompts for the first time, and this was literally the first one it gave me…genius. (¬‿¬) guess kinda a switch-up from this oldie i did~ hope you all had a wonderful Christmas and New Year's, accept this as my welcome back present, hehe~ also tysm for 4.6k, hello????
𝐖𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐂𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭: 1.6k
“…Hey, Toji?”
“Yeah, baby?”
“…Can I…..give you a blowjob?”
Up until this point, Toji was never one to be given oral from anyone.
Giving oral isn’t a problem. But receiving it from someone else? That’s another thing. Call it his personal preference or years of sexual experience, but the older man never actually found pleasure in it. It could be from the many inexperienced minxs he’s had to get his dick wet, whose frequent teeth and bites sabotaged the mood for him. Or probably from the others who just really didn’t appear to know what they were doing — again, ruining the mood. Or the fact that most of the time, as mentioned, he finds himself satisfying his partner at the time more than himself.
Not that he minds at all; no, no. He finds great satisfaction in going in between someone’s legs and getting them turned on from his work. But when it comes to the thought of having his dick sucked, it’s a hard pass. Respectfully.
Which brings us to the present: him on the couch with an arm wrapped behind your shoulders, bringing you close to him as you watch television comfortably. The ceiling lights dimmed to a warm low glow, your head draped on his shoulder as his hand rubs comforting circles on yours, and the silence only filled with the voices coming from the TV isn’t awkward in the presence of you two. Why would it be? He’s with you, his little sweet thing. And that’s all he wants right now.
So, after all the fidgeting with your thumbs and the occasion glances at him (which he noticed, of course), it was apparent that you’d soon ask him something out of the blue. What he hadn’t expected, though, was that question.
“Pfft, that’s random,” he scoffs at the sudden question, and more subtle chuckles resort from the bashful turn of your head. God, you were so cute. “Why ask, sweet thing?”
“I was…just wondering, you know?” Your eyes travel down to your twiddling thumbs, avoiding Toji’s deep, observant emerald gaze. “We’ve been together for this long, and not once have I ever given you a blowjob. And I know, you always say you’re fine with it, but like…I really wanna give you one.”
And that’s when you muster up some confidence to peer up at him meekly, and that’s what seals the deal for Toji. Who is he to deny such puppy dog eyes from his baby?
“Okay then,” he chortles with a smirk, the scar on his right side rooted up. It’s just a blowjob. If not for me, then for them. “Do what you do, cutie.” Little did he know that this would blow his expectations far out.
It started out nice and slow. Toji indulged in your kisses as you snuck your hand into the hem of his drawstring pants, sucking on his tongue while fingers crept inside his boxer briefs to give his cock a rub. He groans into your mouth, liking how you’re setting the mood until you take your lips away from his and slide off the couch to be between his legs. Removing his underwear to the floor, you examine his half-soft dick before using your hands to wrap around the base, massaging around it while you take the tip in your mouth. Toji sighs in bliss at the feeling of your soft licks and rolls of your tongue, shifting around to get more comfortable on the couch.
His erection becomes less and less flaccid, hardening around your mouth. This is where you decide to take in more of his length, hallowing your cheeks as you push your puffy lips down halfway down his erection. By the time you reach this base, your throat is so full of Toji’s girth that you use his sweatpants as reins for your hands as you try to give yourself a few seconds to adjust to the limb occupying your throat. You continue to suck on his cock, bobbing up and down with your saliva coating him, your tongue moving around on the underside of his dick every time you suck up to the tippy top.
The sucks and strokes to his length become a little faster, and it’s here that Toji can’t concentrate on the television. Subtle twitches of his leg result from the hummed moan you express while taking him to the hilt. The vibrations that resonate along the inner walls of your throat are felt. It feels so good. And the tongue of yours? Fuck. His brows trench down when your tongue licks from the bottom of his ridge to the frenulum, giving his cockhead an onslaught of rough licks and kisses that has Toji exhale through his nose. “Hmmnn, fuck…Y/n, baby, y’re so good at this…Uhghh!”
You release his tip with a soft ‘plop’ with a string of saliva connecting your lips to his spit-covered cock. “Ahahhn, really?” Oh, fucking shit, don’t look at him like that. Your hooded eyes peering up at him with a soft smile while your hands maintain a stroking rhythm that has Toji squirm around your grasp. And then you surprise him with a grasp of his ballsack, oh you’re a devilish cutie. “That makes me happy to know,” you give him a giggle when Toji involuntarily bucks to your hands; the veiny limb contrasting with your pretty fingers is such a sight to see. The pulsating commotion between your legs progresses more by the second.
More dangerous licks paired with the massage to his balls as Toji huff is bliss. “Ahhh, sh–shit…Ya like how my dick tastes, mama?”
Taking his cock back into your mouth with alluringly half-lidded eyes is the answer you give him, your lips covering your teeth as your jaw relaxes to welcome his neither limb back inside your warm oral cavity. The suction of your hallow cheeks became lethal with the increased speed, your tongue now swirling around him and creating such deviant noises that only Toji focuses on despite the television vices failing to drown them out.
Holy shit, Toji wasn’t expecting this kind of treatment at all. This was downright out of the water from all the other oral ordeals he’s had in his life. How the fuck were you so good at this!? Cupping his balls while slurping his dick was such a dangerous combo; Toji doesn’t know how long he’ll contain the urge to stand and fuck your face here and now. Goddamn, the faster you bob your lips on him, the shiver down his spine is hard to ignore. His hips jerking to your mouth; he wants to fuck your face so bad. And just looking at your ass sway while you suck on him, he knows you’re enjoying this as well.
It reaches a point where he can’t take it anymore — he wants to go faster and harder. So Toji grabs your head as he stands up and dials the tempo to a harsher motion, propelling your lips down to his pelvis. And you’re quick not to panic, being sure to breathe when Toji smacks his testicles to your chin and ruts into your face and throat with no mercy. Toji moans at the sensation of your gummy walls wrapping around his length, hissing at your muffled wails as he hits the back of your throat. “Fsshhh—Hnngh!! Fuckin’ shit, just like that, mama, just like that…Ohhggh!”
You can feel the veins on his girth pulsate, indicating that his release is soon coming. The thrusts to your face get erratically faster, so you’re sure to grab onto his sweatpants to make sure you don’t lose balance as he spills his load down your throat. Ending it with a few rough hits to your lips, Toji groans with gritted teeth, shaky, strong legs pumping his semen for you to drink, which you merrily take with muzzled squeals on his shaft. The both of you experience the last moment of this euphoric high until Toji’s body calms down, heavy breaths going slower with every expel. He gives you a few moments to suck him off a little more before removing himself from you, gradually pulling his length, quivering with the aftershocks at the dismissal of your warm walls around him. And he jolts when you tease him with one last lick to the sensitive tip.
“Hahhh, damn, cutie,” Toji takes a seat back on the couch, eyeing you down with a weary smirk and furrowed brows. “Since when did ya like to get down and dirty?”
You sheepishly smile back and avert your eyes down, wiping your mouth with the back of your hand. “I’m glad you liked it, Toji.”
“Sure as hell did,” he bends down to grab your chin and bring you in for a kiss. The squeaks you let out when he bites your lips are too adorable and hot to his ears. “Want me to eat you out, sweet thing?”
“Really?” God, you were too cute — beaming at him like that with such a lovely smile.
“Sure thing. Besides, I saw the way you were movin' that ass while suckin’ me off. So, I got you,” Toji takes off his sweatpants, moving his legs to be on the couch entirely. His dick is still standing erect, and he gives you a suggestive grin before tapping his chest, a sign for you to get ready and sit on him. “Only if ya can do that shit on me again.” The request takes you aback for a minute, but you chuckle and stand up. You remove your bottoms and underwear, and Toji notices the wet spot on the material.
Again, Toji is never one to be given oral. But if he’s going to be treated like this, you might be able to change his mind.
© 𝐇𝐨𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐠𝐫𝐚𝐲2023 – dividers from @/animatedglittergraphics-n-more.
#𝑯𝒐𝒔𝒉𝒊 ˚₊‧꒰ა ☆ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚ 𝑾𝒓𝒊𝒕𝒆𝒔: 𝑭𝒊𝒄𝒔#jujutsu kaisen x reader#jjk x reader#jujutsu kaisen smut#jjk smut#jjk x y/n#jjk x you#toji x reader#toji smut#toji fushiguro x reader#toji fushiguro smut#toji x you#toji x y/n#fushiguro toji smut#fushiguro toji x reader#toji fanfic#jujutsu kaisen x you#jujutsu kaisen fic#jjk imagines#jjk fic
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the more I play the more I think lucanis basically knows it's illario who betrayed him right from the beginning (he's had a year in the ossuary to think. not that many people knew where he was going. when you ask him 'did Illario know you'd be on that ship' his only answer is the hardest flattest 'yes' you ever heard). so it's not so much about figuring out who the traitor is (because that's ludicrous. we all know. immediately. they didn't really bother to hide it lmao) as about methodically closing off every single avenue of denial lucanis has clung to that whole time with as much or little gentleness as you might prefer until he has no choice but to admit it. because the moment he has to admit it, he'll have to do something -- feel something -- about it. and that's such a catastrophic event in lucanis' inner landscape (he has had TWO people in this whole entire world up until now and will do anything to hold on to them with a heartbreaking child-like desperation, even at and especially through the detriment of his own self) that he'd rather just. not. what if we quite simply. didn't. what if we just stayed here in the emptiness where we can both pretend you didn't hurt me in a way I should never forgive. I have so much practice in that with caterina already it's always worked out great for everyone so far. (press x to fucking doubt but that's trauma logic for you lol)
after everything illario did, so much of the storm of lucanis' emotions around it is 'what the FUCK did you get yourself tangled up in this time and how do I get you out of this mess safely'. what's worse: the fact that your brother murdered you, or that he put himself in horrible danger doing so and thus exposed you to the risk of losing him forever. lucanis' heart certainly has an opinion here and it's fucking unhinged (affectionate)
the themes of dissociation in lucanis' character in general makes me feel nuts. allllll these contradictory messy things he needs to cut off from each other because they can't coexist or be easily reconciled inside him. but all remain stubbornly true separately anyway and will have their due one day. love and resentment. tenderness and fear and rage. terror and longing. love and freedom don't coexist. the burned out golden child anthem is playing in the background. he was always caterina's favourite and he has to keep striving to deserve that dubious honour with every breath he takes and then, presumably, mercifully, some day he will die and be excused and can rest. and until now he's suppressed all the -- natural, healthy, protective! -- negative feelings that threaten the few attachment relationships he actually has, at the cost of ever actually having his needs for connection and safety met and leaving his core self imprisoned and compromised. and spite goes 'what. no. that's dumb fuck that' (*spite voice* I do not understand that and even if I did I would not respect it) and does not allow him to fall back into that, which I think is what saves his life, ultimately. it took being possessed by a demon for lucanis to even contemplate telling anyone he loves 'no' in any way, but hey. whatever gets you there right lol
lucanis is dealing with the freeze response allll the way down baby. and he was even before the ossuary, that just turbo powered it and brought it to a breaking point way before it could happen naturally. but something was going to break eventually no matter what, and I'm just glad that in the end, through the power of friendship and also pure spite, it doesn't have to be him
#I am worried about him all the time. but also: his found family of godslaying maniacs and also the power of love. there are reasons to hope#when there was only one set of footprints in the sand that was the veilguard party holding lucanis in their arms#and going 'excuse you he said no FUCKING pickles!!!' while he's like '🥺should you guys really be -- ' 'YES'#dragon age#dragon age: the veilguard#dragon age: the veilguard spoilers#dragon age spoilers#lucanis dellamorte#dragon age meta#there's some messiness to his arc but what mary kirby managed to capture here about how this works. is everything to me#he is so exactly for me. I'm sorry for all the people he turned out not to be for. but not for him being for me#the gift of looking at him and hearing 'you're more than what you're going through' and be forced to annoyedly go 'okay#MAYBE that could be also be true for me. maybe.' he's going through it. and also so much more and the funniest person in the world#he's so worth it to still have in the world!!!!#I'm so glad we don't get to 'fix' his relationship with his family and especially caterina actually#that is stuff that would need to happen on a time scale waaay outside of the one in this game#and there's Something very real in having to go 'this is not for me to decide for you. who you love and what you do about it is yours'
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Courting Chaos (to Balance)
A KlarionxDanny brain worm that has spawned
Tim Drake, aka Red Robin gets kidnapped suddenly and very randomly by Klarion in the middle of a JL and others meeting.
Leaving with a
"I'LL RETURN HIM WHEN HES NO LONGER USEFUL JUSTICE LOSERS!"
And fire and chaos in his wake.
While the JL, and others scramble to figure out what Klarion has planned this time, Tim manages to break free of whatever Klarion had used to kidnap him only to find himself on a couch and Klarion nervously petting Teekl on his lap while also sitting in a chair across from him.
When Tim goes to demand to know why Klarion kidnapped him Klarion finally speaks.
"Okay, I wanna strike a deal. I won't bug you or your little Young Just US buddies if you help me ask someone out..."
"...What the fuck Klarion?" Was Tim's only response.
-x-x-
So it turns out, every so often the three main entities and actual factions of Order, Chaos, and Balance get together to well discuss things happening in certain Realms, worlds, and timelines. Basicly to touch base, see where everyone was at. Etc etc.
Order was Order. Chaos was Chaos.
Very simple.
Both could be bad. To much order caused restraint and could snuff out growth. To much Chaos could get out of hand and cause ruin.
Both could be good. Order help stabilizes worlds and builds their future. Chaos allowed creativity to roam and brought forth wonderful things.
And Balance.
Well Balance was the very scales that kept both sides in check. They were neutral grounds. The ones that normally oversaw the meetings as well. And despite their low numbers they held powerful entities that more than made up for it.
Balance did their best to keep things in check, sure they do have their own preference sometimes and allowed the scales to tip a tiny bit but always corrected it later if it tips to much.
It was at this meeting, a meeting even Klarion knew better than to do anything too chaotic, pranks were fine but nothing too much, and had been chatting with a newcomer to the side of Chaos (Danielle, call me Ellie, Phantom. She did some heroing on the side but liked causing chaos in her wake to do so, he liked her so far though.) When the bells for the side of Balance to appear announced them.
Ellie had smiled brightly and said her brother was coming with his mentor, turns out her brother was apart of the Balance group which meant that he was strong, strong enough to need a mentor.
He watched as the members of Balance walked, teleported, flew, and other means into the meeting halls. And then froze when his eyes caught sight of him.
Floating next to a blue skined being that was switching ages was a beautiful otherworldly person.
Snow white hair that wisped upwards oh so softly. Glowing green eyes that were cat-like with their piercing glance. A galaxy cloak hanged around his shoulders and seemed to shift with each movement. Star like freckles decorated his face and seemed to glow a soft bluish white. A crown made of ice and aurora lights floated above his head as well.
All in all Klarion couldn't keep his eyes off of the being at all. He nearly spat his water out when Ellie commented that was her brother Danny, or rather.
High King of the Infinite Realms, Daniel 'Danny' Phantom. The Great One. Defeater of the Tyrant King. The Halfa. The Peaceful End. The Balance of the Undead. (And his mentor was the Ghost of Time itself. THE very Keeper of Time, Kronos original form himself.)
Klarion honestly didn't know what to think or rather what emotions he was feeling when he spotted Danny, nor why his face felt so hot and red when the young man looked over at them and smiled. (He was smiling at Ellie but Klarion for some reason hoped it was for him as well)
It wasn't until halfway in the meeting when a rather ingenious prank that Klarion, Ellie, and a few others had set up went off... thing was it strong enough that it had hit Danny's side of the meeting and had hit him.
Now, again pranks were okay but only after the meetings. It was one of the few rules many, even those in Chaos, took seriously because once it was done and over they could go do their things. So for it to happen in the middle of a meeting means someone set their time on the prank wrong and add the fact it hit a person on the Balance side...
Yeah not good.
Only...
Only instead of getting angry, even Clockwork who was seated next to Danny was chuckling, Danny threw his head back and laughed about it. And his laugh... was very cute.
And before he knew it, Klarion had already fallen.
-x-x-
"So yeah.... Since you have a boyfriend and know how to date in this modern age, I need your advice."
".... Klarion just because I'm dating Bernard doesn't mean I know how I did it..."
"Bernard? I thought you were dating that one Supes?"
#danny phantom#danny fenton#dp x dc#blue rambles#crossover#writing ideas#random idea#danny phantom dc#KlarionxDanny#ngl kinda based Klarion crushing off how my parents meet#they were at a party due to their siblings and my ma mentioned she was walking around and heard my dad's laughter above everyone's#said she really liked his laugh and found him at the party#very loosely based on my ma getting her crush on my dad#anyways Klarion is crushing hard#he cant ask Ellie though. He may have just meet her but he can sense shes gonna be a gremlin about it#so he goes to the one person he knows is a in a relationship! in the modern age too!#only he kidnaps Tim and well...#chaos#meanwhile Danny gushes to his friends about a cute chaos lord he spotted at the meeting#he wants to talk to him but Ellie is being a troll and not telling him anything about her new friend
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⋆ ˚。 ⋆ ୨ ♡ ୧ ⋆ ˚。 ⋆ [ imagine #02 ]
[ j. todd ] ⋆ ˚。 ⋆ ୨ ♡ ୧ ⋆ ˚。 ⋆
── . ✦ in which jason is your next door neighbour.
✦ The first time you met Jason wasn’t out of high stakes - a dangerous situation - or from a friend of a friend. It was by pure will, and that stuck out to him. You’d come over to finally meet your new neighbour who’d moved into your small apartment complex, blushing slightly as a young man opened the door. There you were, standing with a small container of pasta in hand next to the hunk of a man you’d never met. All because you’d made some extra on accident.
“Thanks. This looks great.” He nods his head ever so slightly in gratitude.
✦ Jason notices how your shoulders relax as he takes the container— how cute you looked all nervous like that. Above all, he was just happy he didn’t come off as some shitty neighbour, fortified by the wide, gentle smile you ported while turning to wave goodnight.
✦ He sets the container onto his counter, picturing your face in his mind for a brief instant. It'd been a while since someone did something nice for Jason, just because. He wasn’t used to it.
✦ You’d crossed paths many times in the hallway, but what really sealed the deal was when your sink started to leak one random thursday evening. You couldn’t tell if it was minor or not, but you wanted to play it safe, knocking next-door. Who was Jason to deny a pretty girl, anyway? He accepts causally, though inside he’s beaming more than he’d like to admit.
“Yeah, no sweat, let me grab my tools.”
✦ And only a couple minutes later, he was hunched under your kitchen cabinets— sleeves rolled up and everything. His hands work deftly, years of practice making the task almost second nature.
“Do you need a water, or anything? I have soda, too.”
“Oh- Yeah. Water would be perfect.”
✦ You tried desperately to hide your growing grin while reaching up for a glass, the whole situation particular. Jay stayed longer than he had to once the leak was actually repaired; a whole half hour to put into perspective. Maybe it was the way your eyes lit up when you smiled, or the way you seemed genuinely happy to have him over that made him give in. Or, maybe, it’d just been too fucking long since he’d had a normal conversation like this.
“Eh, I've been around for a bit," He says vaguely as you two were sharing, "Long enough to know my way around. And- to know that this place is a hell of a lot better than some of the other shitholes in the city."
He gestures to your apartment with his glass in hand, leaning against your counter. “Yeah, tell me about it… It’s small, but it works.” Jason points to the sink he had just finished fixing with a smirk, eliciting a small chuckle from you.
✦ Your smile just lit up around him, and that was when he knew you’d be the woman he’d marry.
✦ And then, the fateful night hit. Red Hood had come back home after beating up some prominent criminals near the side of an old port— covered in bruises and a small stab wound to the lower abdomen. His head wasn’t in the game, and the feverish lightning made it hard to concentrate. He reached for his apartment door, mask in hand. It was late; he knew nobody would be out roaming the halls at this hour.
✦ The handle didn’t budge, though, his black gloves gripping onto the metal more harshly.
“Fuck!”
✦ Jay yelled, banging his hand against his apartment door. This? Now? Could his night not get any fucking worse? He pauses, his expression not angry, but just sad. Tired. He looked defeated. Jason walked over to the left of him, pausing before knocking on your door.
“Jason? Oh my god- Are you-”
✦ The stab wound in his side was throbbing, and you could see some blood dripping down from his leg. He needed to get it cleaned before he passed out.
“Please.”
✦ You don’t waste anytime before helping him inside, placing your hand on his lower back. You always had your suspicions about the guy— but this? He had to be a vigilante! Crime was rampant in this area, anyway… You prayed he was on the good side of things.
✦ Jason was sitting on your toilet seat, shirt off, gaze completely averted down. He didn’t want you to see him like this; all fucked up and broken. But you didn’t run screaming, or turn away in disgust— Instead you rushed to help him. He didn’t understand. You diligently cleaned his wound with an antiseptic, own expression sour from how much you knew it had to be hurting him. Jay tried his best to hold still despite the stinging pain— grunting slightly.
“Shit…”
✦ You look up, only to notice he was already staring down at you in between his legs. Your heart skipped a number of beats.
“Can you tell me what happened?” You ask calmly, and Jason just couldn’t take it. Your soft hands - your sympathetic expression - your fucking voice. He was going to break, averting his gaze in the matter of a second before clearing his throat roughly.
“Just crossed through the bad side of town.”
✦ Once the wounds were cleaned, you bandaged them up with extra care. Jason’s gaze was fixed between your hands working at his cuts, up to your pretty face. Apart of him wanted to apologize for showing up all unannounced like this, but another part of him— a part that's been starved of kindness and compassion for far too long wanted nothing more than to let you take care of him. Nobody had ever before, at least not with such compassion as you carried.
“I’m sorry for dragging you into this… I just didn’t know where else to go.”
✦ He explained his situation once you offered him a glass of water— how his apartment was locked. You don’t think twice before letting him stay the night.
✦ You handed him some old pyjama pants that were too big on you to sleep in, all the while his equipment sat in your bathtub for the time being. You didn’t waste your time before setting up the couch, too, even lighting a nice candle on the coffee table. Jason feels a warmth spread through his chest as you smile at him— it had nothing to do with the pain.
“Fuck- I can’t thank you enough for this.”
“Oh, Jason- It’s my pleasure, really. If you need anything during the night, just come get me, yeah?”
✦ You close the blinds and shut off all the lights before tucking yourself back into bed. Holy… what a night! You couldn’t get the image of him out of your head, knowing he trusted you enough for this. All the while Jason fell asleep like a light for the first time in many years, all thanks to your gentle care.
⋆ ˚。 ⋆ ୨ ♡ ୧ ⋆ ˚。 ⋆ part 2 ?
#jason todd#jaybird#red hood#jason todd imagine#jason todd x reader#jason todd x you#batfam#dc#dc comics#fluff#comfort
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Lucanis and Family
House Dellamorte is so gloriously messy. You don’t get to achieve and keep the seat of First Talon without getting your hands dirty…. and unfortunately, without a great deal of loss.
Caterina
Caterina Dellamorte had five children and eight grandchildren. Lucanis’s mother was her favourite; she gave his mother her opal ring as a show of that favour. But House Velardo killed Lucanis’s parents and sent the ring back to Caterina to demand she surrender the seat of First Talon. When she refused to submit, a war of succession broke out amongst the Crows. House Dellamorte remained First Talon, but at great cost – the only surviving family Caterina had left was two of her grandchildren, Lucanis and Illario.
Lucanis says he and Illario lived in Villa Dellamorte with Caterina until they were eighteen. While he says they would have ended up under Caterina’s care regardless for training, they were taken in by her early after their parents were killed by House Velardo.
In the Tevinter Nights story, The Wigmaker Job, Lucanis reflects on the following:
“Memories of sweat-filled days without food or water came unbidden. Lucanis’s back tingled from where his grandmother’s cane had bruised his flesh for letting his guard down or fumbling his footwork. For years, he’d hated her. But his time as a Master Assassin had since taught Lucanis that Caterina’s cruelty was her way of making sure that he was prepared for this life—that he survived.”
And if Rook is a Crow, they share this dialogue:
Rook: What was it like? Training under the First Talon?
Lucanis: What was your training like?
Rook: Torture.
Lucanis: There you go.
Rook: But you didn't resent her?
Lucanis: Not anymore.
Thus, it makes sense that in Lucanis’s mind prison, Spite describes Caterina as “tenderness and terror.” She is his grandmother, and he has always been her favourite, as he acknowledges. I do not doubt that she showed affection for him, but unfortunately it also came with cruelty.
While I do not wish to defend Caterina’s actions, I do think it is important to contextualize them with a reminder that she is a woman who lost her entire family. I really do believe that Lucanis is correct in his assessment that Caterina torturing her grandchildren was her way of making sure they would survive, where their parents did not. Because unfortunately, she is also someone who clearly cares about maintaining her power, and was not willing to sacrifice it for the good of her family’s wellbeing. She wanted to have both power and family, and Lucanis and Illario suffered for it.
Illario
I truly do have sympathy for Illario, despite all the terrible things he’s done.
First of all, remember that all Lucanis went through, Illario also went through. But unlike Lucanis, I don’t think Illario has ever really fully forgiven Caterina. In The Wigmaker Job, he comments, “All that effort training and grooming us, and the old woman still won’t step aside.” Illario doesn’t see the point of been groomed as he was, and doesn’t excuse Caterina like Lucanis does. Probably because no matter what, he’s always been treated as the lesser one.
The saddest thing about Illario though is, in my opinion, that the only way he would have ever actually gained Caterina’s respect is if he really did kill her. Lucanis says he believes as such to Emmrich in party banter. But he couldn’t even do that right. He’s such a fuck-up and I love him.
Lucanis
Lucanis’s mind prison offers more insight in how he sees Caterina… and himself.
When you approach Caterina in the mind prison, she is angry that Lucanis is an abomination, and Rook is able to observe that Lucanis fears he has disappointed her. Spite comments, “Old stale fear of disappointment.” As the favourite child of an abusive parent myself, I can tell you right now I really relate to this sentiment of thinking you need to be perfect in order to keep your favouritism, because they make you feel like you owe that to them.
When you approach Illario in the mind prison, the first thing Illario says is that Rook is too good to be wasting time with Lucanis. He also says that Lucanis will fill his mind prison with corpses. Because that’s how Lucanis has traditionally seen himself, I think; as someone who’s only importance is that he’s a good killer. It’s how Caterina raised him. But now that he’s had a taste of more with the Veilguard, he’s terrified to lose it. Spite says that there are three kinds of people: “Family. Enemies. Contracts.” But the Veilguard has shown Lucanis that he can have friends, too. (And potentially a lover if Rook romances him, or he gets with Neve.)
Average families can be complicated. Assassin families, apparently even more so. I think a crucial part of Lucanis’s character is that he values his family so strongly. He no longer resents Caterina for how she raised him and Illario. He is unwilling to kill Illario, even though Illario made it clear that he would not have spared Lucanis in return. Because they are cousins who were more like brothers, and that means something to Lucanis. After all, as one of the notes found in his mind prison says, “So few of us left…”
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